


What Remains

by we_dreamerz



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Spoilers, Amnesia, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I swear, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki was mind controlled, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-09-06 22:03:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16841290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_dreamerz/pseuds/we_dreamerz
Summary: In the wake of “The Snap”, Roxanne Monroe wears many hats at the Pleasant View Hospital in New York.  While she’s answering phones on that fateful night, someone leaves a naked man on the hospital’s door step.  His throat is crushed, he has no memory of who he is but he’s asking for The Mechanic.  Tony Stark’s whole world is in a tailspin until he finds Loki at a local hospital.  Unfortunately, Tony’s not the only one who’s realized the God of Mischief isn’t as dead as they thought.





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing Beta Goddesses - LokiismyfavouriteAvenger & Dawn. <3

“Hi Mr. Salvatore,” Roxanne singsonged as she entered the dim hospital room balancing breakfast trays on her splayed hands.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Mr. Schwartz called from behind the closed bathroom door.

Roxanne grinned. “I have your tray too, sir.”

“Did you remember about the bagels, Roxanne?” Mr. Schwartz shuffled out of the bathroom in his robe and slippers. He patted her arm and took his tray.

“Klineman Medical Center gets the good bagels from down on Fourth Avenue. If the Pleasant View Hospital wants to compete, they’re going to need to step it up a notch or two.” 

“I told the boys in the kitchen,” Roxanne confirmed. She helped Mr. Schwartz back into bed, making sure his remote control was within reach. He liked to watch the news with breakfast.

Mr. Schwartz rewarded her with a toothy grin. “That’s my girl,” he said, patting her hand, his skin was soft like old, well-oiled leather.

“Anything for you.” She squeezed his hand before checking on Mr. Salvatore.

“How are you, dear?” Roxanne asked, pulling the dinner tray up so he could reach it. 

“He talks too damn much,” Mr. Salvatore grumbled softly, digging into his cream of wheat.

Roxanne laughed and pulled a new set of earbuds from her pocket.

“Try these,” she suggested and then showed him how to plug them in to the entertainment panel mounted to the side of the hospital bed.

“You're an angel,” Mr. Salvatore took her hand to press a gentlemanly kiss to her knuckles, his bushy white mustache tickling her skin.

She waved goodbye and left the men to their breakfast.

One more tray to deliver before the end of her very long shift. She wore several hats now. Orderly, surgical nurse, receptionist and delivery girl. There just weren't enough people to fill all the roles.

She plucked the order slip from the cart and stopped in her tracks.

“John Doe, Room 315,” she murmured, heart skipping a beat.

It had been three months since the apocalyptic event they now called “The Snap”.

Thanos, an alien from a planet called Titan came to Earth and with the snap of his fingers, half of the population disappeared. The Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes, tried and failed to stop it from happening. And ever since then those who remained tried to make sense of everything. They tried to move on, all the while wondering if Thanos would return to earth and finish the job.

John Doe had come into the hospital on the night of The Snap. She’d been working, riding the wave of chaos - scared.

She'd been at the front desk taking calls, avoiding the pile of dust that had been the receptionist, when someone screamed from outside the sliding entrance doors.

Heart pounding, Roxanne slammed the phone down and ran through the doors, grabbing an abandoned umbrella from the stand. A girl couldn't be too careful in these times.

He was on the sidewalk, naked and unconscious. Ugly black bruises stood out starkly against his pale skin.

A woman in a black hoodie leaned over him, felt for a pulse.

“He’s alive,” she said softly, dark eyes searching Roxanne’s.

She nodded. Without thinking, Roxanne ran back through the doors, grabbed a wheelchair and returned to the man on the sidewalk.

The woman was gone. But her hoodie remained, laying across his lap, presumably to cover his naughty bits. 

“What the fuck,” Roxanne murmured. She looked at the man, judging whether she could lift him. Trying to decide whether she should try.

She bent down beside him, gingerly pushed aside a lock of his raven hair, and then winced.

_What the hell had made those marks?_

Roxanne looked him over for any other wounds. Finding none, she looked into his face and gasped. He stared at her, green eyes startling and laser focused.

_So... sad?_

He grabbed her arm. His long agile fingers dug into her flesh, hard enough to leave bruises but not break her skin.

“Find...him,” he croaked. “The mechanic.” She could barely hear him.

“Him? Who him?” she asked.

His eyelids fluttered closed and his vise-like grip on her arm relaxed until it was only the soft touch of his skin on hers, a silent plea.

_He's so...cold._

“Roxanne!”

Someone called her name, but she barely registered the words. She couldn’t draw her eyes away. He was so lovely, angular features and slightly pointed chin softened by haunted green eyes. His body was long, lean and beautifully muscled.

Voices swam around her, finally coming into focus when someone shook her.

“Roxanne, come on. Give us some room.”

She shook her head. Carl and Brian, two of her fellow orderlies stood behind her with a waiting stretcher.

“Right. Sorry. I was just...taking his vitals.”

“Start a chart?” Brian asked and thrust a clipboard into her hands.

The hoodie fell to the pavement when they moved him.

Roxanne bent to retrieve it and then tucked it around him, protecting his modesty. As Carl strapped the man’s head to the board Roxanne noticed the pearlescent web work of scars that rose on his skin. Was that a bullet wound in his shoulder? She reached out to touch his skin. 

_A soldier?_

“Come on, Rox,” Brian muttered. Don't get weird around the hot, naked guy.”

She snatched back her hand and looked at Brian. He wore a friendly, crooked grin and tired eyes. It had been a very long night and they were all exhausted. He was just trying to lighten the mood.

She offered him a smile and shook her head.

“It's been a weird fucking night, Bri.”

He hugged her quickly, patted her back before picking up his end of the stretcher.

“You can say that again. Come on. You can fill us in on the way to triage. Nadine has the phones.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Roxanne stood in front of Room 315, breakfast tray balanced on her palm. She’d heard he’d been in a coma all this time and was just recently moved from ICU. But she’d hadn’t seen him since that night. She took a breath, knocked on the door and pressed the lever to allow her entrance.

“Hello, sir?” she called out, cursing the stammer in her voice. She took a step forward into the dimly lit room.

When the door closed behind her with a sharp snick, Roxanne jumped and barely managed to hold on to the tray.

She steadied herself. When her eyes had grown accustomed to the dark, she realized the curtain was pulled around the bed.

“Excuse me sir, I’m here with your breakfast,” she said softly, not wanting to alarm him if he’d been sleeping. When he didn’t respond she knew she should check on him, make sure he was okay. 

“Sir?” she called again. When he didn’t answer she pulled the curtain aside and breathed a sigh of relief when she found him listening to music through headphones, eyes closed, hands folded contentedly over his stomach.

Perhaps he sensed her movement, because it was then that he opened his eyes. For a moment he appeared alarmed but when he focused on her, his face transformed from steely, intimidating beauty to warm, welcoming charm.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice was hoarse but sounded better than it had they night he came in. “I was listening to music and didn’t hear you.”

“That’s okay. I’m just here with your breakfast.” She smiled and placed his tray on the table.

“Would you like me to open the blinds for you?” she asked.

He squinted and shook his head. “No thank you. My eyes, they’re still very sensitive to the light, you see.”

He spoke with an accent. British maybe?

His gaze dropped to her name tag. “Roxanne,” he said softly. “They told me a Roxanne found me in front of the hospital. Might that be you?”

He grinned when she nodded. “Then it seems I owe you a debt,” he said. “Thank you. And…” He sat up and she realized he was wearing the black hoodie. “I’m told this is yours.” He attempted to struggle out of the hoodie, but she stopped him.

“Oh no, it’s okay. Actually, it isn’t mine. There was another person on the scene. You were, um—” Roxanne felt heat rise to her cheeks. She was grateful the room was so dim. “She used it to cover you while I ran for a wheelchair and alert triage. When I got back, she was gone.”

He pressed his lips together, hiding a bashful smile and looked down at his hands. “Well thank you nonetheless,” he said. “I don’t remember anything. And it’s comforting to know someone treated me with kindness when I was at my most vulnerable.”

“You don’t remember anything?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Not even my own name,” he said. “They told me I was admitted with what they thought was a crushed larynx, broken neck and affixation. But when they took x- rays they found no evidence of fractures.”

She glanced down at his neck.

“Your bruises, they’re gone,” she said.

He nodded. “I saw the photographs.”

Roxanne sat in an armchair, curiosity burning.

“How do you feel now?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Like I’ve been killed and brought back from the dead.” His face was stoic, almost sad. He narrowed his eyes as though trying to catch a fleeting memory and then shook his head. “You think I’d remember that.” He huffed out a breath and appeared to shake off the negative thoughts. “But aside from a stiff neck, sore throat and sensitive eyes, I feel...alive. I suppose I should be grateful.”

“But you don’t remember anything,” she said.

He shook his head.

“They tell me that I’ll probably regain my memory. The doctors have been most helpful. Since I awoke, they have been working with me. They told me about what happened. That the world is in a bit of spiral.”

She nodded and leaned back into the chair. “It’s utter chaos,” she admitted. “The doctors and nurses, the remaining hospital administration have kept this place running well considering everything that happened after The Snap. We’ve all pitched in, doing triple duty. But with half the population gone it’s like the gold rush out there. Everyone is claiming the deceased’s property, there’s looting and fighting in the streets. It’s better now than when it first happened though. The government got their shit together, stepped in and are sorting through the legality of it all.”

His stomach growled, and Roxanne jumped up. “Oh, I’m so sorry, here I am talking your ear off and you’re probably starving.”

She moved his table back and helped him with the bed. He took the lid from the plate and tucked in to his breakfast, sighing in pleasure as he sipped his tea.

“I’ll let you eat in peace,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you, Roxanne,” he said. “For everything.”

She nodded. “Of course. If you need anything, just press the button.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Excruciating pain. The sharp crack of crushed bone and muscle. Screaming. Cold._

He awoke with a gasp, eyes wide, grasping for a light. He pressed buttons and sighed in relief when a low light turned on behind his bed. He looked around, confused.

_Where am I?_

Then it all came rushing back. The hospital, his injuries, the girl and --.

Nothing. Before that there was nothing. He breathed out and leaned back on the pillows of his bed. He pressed long fingers to his throat, investigating. The bruises had healed. Even his eyes felt better.

His door opened suddenly, a nurse peaked in.

“You called?” she asked, tired eyes meeting his.

He glanced at the buttons on his bed, saw the one marked to call for a nurse.

“I'm sorry. I had a nightmare. I must have pressed the button to summon you while searching for a light.”

She smiled kindly. “It's okay. Can I get you anything while I'm here?”

“No thank you. I'm fine.”

She nodded and closed the door, leaving him alone.

He sighed up at the ceiling. Since the moment he regained consciousness he had been driven to get up, go, leave, find. He had to get out of here. He just wished he knew why or better yet, who he had to find.

But beyond this desperate drive, there were no facts. He had no name, no people, only a vague sense of urgency and a black hoodie. He checked the pockets of the hoodie and found them empty - again.

He closed his eyes and willed his mind to cooperate. Something, anything.

“Who am I?”

Nothing.

Wait. What was that?

He frowned at his fingers. They tingled. Not like he had fallen asleep while laying on them tingles but glowing a faint shimmery gold and green and it felt like they were crawling with ants tingling.

“What the hell is that?” he murmured.

He touched the tip of his left pointer finger to the right and a tiny arc of energy passed between the two digits.

_This isn't normal. This isn't normal. This isn't normal._

His heart hammered. 

_Static? It was just Static, right?_

And then the very tips of the fingers on his left hand turned an alarming shade of blue. The color crept up his arm which looked different now. Longer, stronger somehow with raised lines in strange patterns.

He closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Stop this. You are not blue. You are not blue,” he whispered, willing his skin to change back. It was bad enough he couldn’t remember who he was. He did not need to add a mental breakdown to his list of concerns.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he opened his eyes to find that his skin had reverted to usual shade of pale. He sagged back against the mattress and shook his head. 

_I must keep my wits._

Whatever had happened, whoever had hurt him could still want him dead. He had to find some answers, but he was suddenly exhausted.

“I'll ask Roxanne,” he muttered, closing his eyes. “Maybe she can help me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“No offence but you kinda look like shit,” Roxanne said when she opened his door the following morning. “Did you get any sleep?”

He grinned. His stiff shoulders seemed to relax when she placed his plate on the table. 

“Not much,” he said. “I was plagued by nightmares.”

“Any new memories?”

He shook his head and frowned down at his plate, now free of the lid. She looked at his selection. Two thick Belgian waffles sat in the center of the plate. There was sausage, toast, coffee and a bowl of fresh fruit. It looked good to her. But maybe he didn’t like honeydew? 

He sighed. His look of confusion morphed into a glare, as though the waffles had personally offended him.

“Hey...hey, it's alright.” Roxanne touched his hand. He met her gaze and for just a moment, rage flickered there.

Her mouth went dry. Not for the first time, she wondered about his scars about who he’d been before showing up at the hospital. She drew her hand away for a beat. In that instant she thought he looked pleased at her reaction and she pushed aside her fear to take his hand. This man needed a friend. And she wasn’t going to allow him to chase her away. 

“Don't bite the hand that feeds you,” she said, meeting his gaze.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I'm sorry,” he breathed “I just, I feel like all of my memories are just outside of my reach,” he said and then gestured in disgust toward his tray. “And I cannot remember what those things are.”

Roxanne stifled a giggle when she realized that he was indeed angry at the waffles. 

When he opened his eyes, he scowled at her thinly veiled smile. With a growl he threw his hands into the air. “You mock me!”

“Well, first of all, no one says things like that. And second, they are called waffles and they are delicious. So, eat every bite and don't forget to put the syrup on them.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Syrup?”

She huffed a laugh and reached for his plate. He watched, scowling as she opened a syrup packet and poured a generous amount over both waffles.

“I am not eating that.”

“Shut up, yes you are. Open your mouth.”

With a sigh he acquiesced, and she shoved a forkful between his lips. He rolled his eyes until he tasted them.

Pure bliss softened his expression.

“I suppose they will do,” he said, avoiding her gaze.

She laughed and dropped into the chair beside his bed. “Told you. Now eat your breakfast. We have things to discuss.”

He gobbled down the waffles and destroyed the rest of his breakfast as she unpacked an idea.

“So, I looked into your case. Turns out in all the post snap drama, no one thought to get your picture out there,” she said and fished her phone from her pocket. “I thought we could do that. I can take your picture and we can put it out on the web. That way, if your family is looking for you, they will know to come to this hospital.”

He paused, a strange mix of sadness and hope transformed his face into something so beautiful.

“Thank you, Roxanne,” he said softly. “I had hoped you might help me.”

She waved away his thanks. But she knew he meant it. He was alone. And in these strange times there was a shortage of advocates for someone in his position. She had to try.

“It's nothing, really,” she said. “Easy peasy. We just have to take a picture.” She lined up a shot and pressed the button, capturing his soft expression. “Now I make it go viral.” Facebook was still a thing. She was convinced that even if the entire human race was decimated Facebook would continue to run on its own, auto posting cat videos and game requests.

“Isn't that a bad thing?” he asked.

She looked up from her phone. “Oh, virus. Yes. No.” She scrunched up her face. “Viruses are bad, yes. But a viral photo or video on the internet means it spreads like a virus - very fast.”

He nodded. “So now we wait to see if anyone claims me?”

“Yep,” she said slipping her phone back into the pocket of her scrubs. “Easy peasy.”

“Easy peasy,” he repeated as though he was unfamiliar with the phrase.

“In the meantime, try to rest. I suspect someone will eventually realize that you have mysteriously healed from life threatening wounds and be around to ask you about that.”

“Hmm,” was his only response. He ran his fork though the puddle of syrup on his plate and brought it to his lips. Roxanne watched him. She could practically feel him thinking.

She was dying to know how he had healed so quickly. But she figured that he either didn't know or didn't want to say. These days you never knew what secrets someone was keeping. Inhumans were a thing now. Sure, The Snap seemed to take the focus off the humans who has suddenly developed powers. But it was just a matter of time before the shadowy government agencies that sprouted from the ashes of S.H.I.E.L.D and their ilk resumed their witch hunts.

Roxanne shook her head.

I spend too much time Googling this shit.

“I have to get back to work. But I'll check back with you at the end of my shift. See if we got any calls.”

He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I am indebted to you, Roxanne. I do not know what I would have done without your assistance.”

She smiled back, took his empty tray. “I just hope if I ever show up naked outside a hospital someone will help me too.” She winked, pleased when his eyes crinkled in a real smile.

“Get some rest.”


	2. From the Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what Tony has been up to since Thanos snapped his fingers.

_“I begged you to come back. I begged you to get off that damned ship.”_

_“We thought you were dead. I grieved for you. We had a funeral.”_

_“Pepper.”_

_“No. No. I can’t do it again. And I can't ask you to be someone you’re not. Tony. I love you. But I can't go through that again.”_

~~~~~~~~~~

“Boss. I found something you may wish to see.”

“Huh? I'm awake. What's up?”

Tony Stark lifted his head from the metal work table, batted at the post-it note stuck to his face. 

“I got a hit on Project Phoenix,” Friday said.

Tony stared a moment, whipped a tear from his cheek, chasing away the remnants of his dream. 

_Project Phoenix_

“Wait, what? How? Show me.”

Tony peered at the images Friday displayed on the holographic screen.

“Facial recognition matched a post on various social media platforms to images of Loki Laufeyson, brother of Thor Odinson.”

Tony’s heart pounded. Loki was supposed to be dead. According to Thor, Thanos crushed the life out of him. Mind reeling, he forced himself to read the post.

**Do You Know This Man? If you have any information on his identity, please contact The Pleasant View Hospital.**

The last time Tony had seen Loki he was chained up with some kind of magical muzzle and bound for Asgard. Now here was Loki staring back at him from the projection screen, sitting on what looked like a hospital bed. 

_He looks different, not as murdery._

When Tony had returned to Earth on the hijacked Guardians ship with an emotionally stunted cyber woman with the worst case of road rage Tony had ever seen in tow, there had been a lot of questions.

For one thing, he'd been declared dead. That had been a nightmare. But Pepper had helped sort that. And then she'd left him. To be fair, he wouldn't have wanted to be married to a zombie either. Which is precisely what he was.

_I got the kid killed, erased, snapped, whatever._

The fact remained, Peter Parker no longer existed. Spiderman no longer existed. And that was all on Tony. True, half the population was in the same boat. But they hadn't fallen into his arms, big eyes pleading for him to do something, anything, before disappearing into dust. He’d been useless, completely impotent. For once, Tony Stark couldn't blast or talk his way out of something.

Thor had stopped by as soon as he found out Tony wasn’t dead. They got stinking drunk and mourned the dead by starting a huge bonfire in the exercise yard. Well, Tony got stinking drunk. Thor didn't need alcohol to talk about his feelings. 

He’d filled Tony in on everything that happened. And he’d shared a little bit of Loki’s story, how he'd been Thanos puppet all along -- mind controlled. He'd told him about Odin's death, Hela, the fucking Apocalypse. Thor was heartbroken. But he was fiercely proud of Loki too.

“He gave his life for the cause, Tony.” Thor had said. “Loki sacrificed himself, the stubborn fool. He sacrificed himself to save me.”

The next morning Tony had woken up in a beach chair Thor had carried over from the pool, smelling of smoke, the distinct taste of roadkill in his mouth and an idea in his head - Project Phoenix. Tony was bringing everyone back if it killed him. But he never expected for Loki to make it so easy.

“Boss, there are reports of police activity around the hospital where Mr. Laufeyson is in residence,” Friday warned.

“And that's what happens when you post pictures on the internet, kiddies,” he murmured and headed toward the elevator that would take him from the bowels of Avengers Tower and up to the roof. “Everyone can see them. Even the bad guys.”

“Time to rescue the princess, Friday,” Tony said and tapped the glowing panel on his chest to enact the nanosuit. 

“Should I notify the others?” Friday inquired as all the pieces fell into place.

Tony took to the air and chewed on that question a moment. He owed it to Thor to make sure he was notified before anyone else stuck their noses into the situation. Also, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see what was going on with Loki before he got anyone else involved, Thor included. The big guy could be a little soft where his brother was concerned.

_Yeah, trust issues. I got ‘em._

“No. This is a solo mission. No need to wake the children,” Tony responded.

“Right. Mapping your flight plan.”

Tony soared over the city, taking it all in. So many changes since the invasion, both subtle and massive. For a long time, he'd hated Loki for bringing that fight to their door. But if Thor was to be believed, he wasn’t even in control of himself. He’d been just as mind fucked as Barton.

Tony still dreamed about that dammed wormhole, his fall to earth.

_Anxiety, depression and paranoia, oh my._

And now he knew who was really to blame. Loki had been the puppet. The giant purple ball sack had been pulling his strings all along. Thor said he didn't know just how long or exactly what Loki had suffered while he was with Thanos, before invading Earth. Loki wouldn't give him details. But Tony could do the math, fill in the blanks. Take one emotionally messed up God, add a surprise adoption, multiply by oh hey you’re really an ice giant, subtract daddy’s love, add a suicide attempt and mix with a healthy dose of mind control – yeah. 

Tony didn't know what to expect from the trickster God now, but he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Hospital records show that Mr. Laufeyson is in room 315 on the 3rd floor,” Friday said as they approached the hospital.

“Great. Alright let's a closer look,” he said. “Any sign of trouble?”

“No incoming reports. But sensors indicate two heavily armed men at the hospital entrance and several similar men making their way inside.”

“Do we know who this is?”

“No identifying insignia.”

“Right. Okay. Rescue the princess before the stormtroopers get there, got it,” Tony said and flew up to what looked like the third floor.

“Fifth window from the left, Boss.”

The blinds were open, the light just bright enough for Tony to see Loki inside. He was on the bed, covers pulled up to his waist. Eyes closed, face soft with sleep, Loki looked a little different, but it was definitely him. Tony was about to move toward the window when a girl burst into the room.

She was cute, maybe twenty-five with blond, curly hair that fell to just above her shoulders. Tony thought she was a little taller than Natasha with a similar build, softer, less trained assassin, more gym a couple times a week when she’s got time. She wore a set of scrubs with little penguins on them.

“Friday, I need to hear what's going on in there.”

“On it.”

Suddenly he could hear the girl talking to Loki. Her voice was soft and soothing.

“Come on, you gotta get up,” she said, rousing him. “Someone's here and I don’t think they’re friendly.”

“What's going on?” Loki, instantly awake, got to his bare feet. He had on hospital issue pajama pants, a shapeless white t-shirt, and a black hoodie. Loki's expression brought Tony up short.

_He’s terrified._

Tony tapped on the window. They both whirled toward the sound.

The girl frowned. “Iron Man?” she said, eyes narrowed.

“What are you doing,” Loki hissed as the girl approached the window and slid it open.

“It's Iron Man,” she said by way of explanation, but he didn't appear impressed.

“What on Earth is an Iron Man?”

Tony hovered closer and Loki backed into the wall, eyes wide, lips parted as though he wanted to scream.

“Hi kids, listen, I think the invite you put out for your little party here has attracted unexpected guests,” Tony said. “Luckily I saw it too and got here first to help you clean up this mess before Mom and Dad get home.” Tony looked at Loki. “Long time no see.”

“Wait, you know him?” the girl asked.

Tony glanced at her and back at Loki. “Yeah, you could say that,” he said. “I'm a close friend of the family.”

Loki shook his head, frowned at Tony. “I can't...remember you,” he said. “Why can I not remember this robot?” he asked the girl. 

_There's the demanding brat we know and love._

Tony flipped open his face shield, hoping that might help. But there was no recognition in Loki's eyes.

_Jesus, he has amnesia._

“Not a robot. Kinda in a hurry though. There are men headed in this direction who likely mean to kill you. At best, they'll offer a not so comfy stay in a cell somewhere.” He held out his hand. “Come with me if you want to live,” he said with a grin. Neither of them laughed.

“No? No Terminator… fine. Okay. Loki, come on. I need to get you to safety.”

Loki tilted his head like a dog and Tony bit back a smart comment when he saw the look of utter pain and frustration on Loki’s face.

“Loki,” he whispered. He sounded so confused, as though his own name had no meaning. 

“Come on, we'll have time for a proper reunion later, catch up, talk about manners and how it's not nice to throw people out of windows. We’ll work it out.”

“I'm not just going to let you take him,” the girl said.

“No of course not,” Tony said, panic lending an edge to his tone. “So, come with us. I can take you both. What's your name?”

Dumbfounded, she glanced at Loki and then back at Tony. “Roxanne.”

“Boss, the men have gained access to the stairwell and are approaching the 3rd-floor entrance,” Friday interrupted.

“Times up, kids, them or me,” Tony said.

Finally, Loki nodded as though he’d made up his mind. He grabbed Roxanne’s hand and strode toward the window. Tony breathed a sigh of relief and turned for Loki to climb on his back. He carried Roxanne in his arms.

“Wait, let me shut the window,” she said. 

With the window closed, Tony sped home as fast as he could as he tried to put everything together. When his head started to ache, he decided to just focus on what he was going to do with these two when he got home.

The Avengers Facility in upstate New York was home to the ragtag bunch of snap survivors: Nebula, the aforementioned cyber woman, Rocket, a funny little raccoon dude that had been part of Quill’s group, Bruce, resident Hulk with performance issues and Natasha Romanoff, when it suited her. Thor had a room too. But most of his time was spent getting the remaining Asgardian refugees settled while they searched for a more permanent home. Tony lived there too. But lately, he’d been spending more and more time back at Stark Tower, although now the public knew it by a different name – The Phoenix building. Tony had moved back into the Penthouse.

Steve Rogers was another matter altogether. He’d stopped by The Facility a few times since Tony got home. But Tony wasn’t ready to play nice yet. He knew that Steve had been essential to the group battling Thanos on Wakanda and he was grateful for that. But he just couldn’t bring himself to go there right now. But it was totally on the to his to-do list...eventually. For now, the Star Spangled Man with a plan was in Wakanda helping to sort out the panther sized hole left by T’Challa’s death. He didn’t envy that task.

He didn’t know how the group would take Loki’s resurrection, at least those who remembered The Battle of New York. Bruce knew the real story; he’d fought with Loki on Asgard when all literal hell had broken loose. But Natasha, Steve?

_Especially Steve._

Tony couldn’t take Loki back to The Facility, not yet. So, he made for the Tower instead. They’d be safe there. No one knew he still owned the place and there was plenty of room.

Now he just had to call Thor and tell him that Loki was alive – again.

~~~~~~~~~~  
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You so much for reading. Special love for those of you who took the time to feed the muses with kudos and comments.
> 
> I hope to have Chapter 3 up over the weekend.


	3. Fill in The Blanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony pushes, Loki plans, and Roxanne notices things.

_“You have reached the tiny speaking device of Thor Odinson, King of Asgard and Avenger, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. If you wish to converse, speak your name and device number after the noise and I shall return your --”_ BEEP.

“Thor, it's Tony. When you get this, call me right away. I um…I have something of yours I think you might want back.”

Tony hung up and sighed. He peered across the room at his two newest roomies. They sat whispering together on the edge of the couch that wrapped around the cozy sitting area.

“Friday, get me Loki's hospital records, everything they have on him. Then make sure it's all erased on their end.” Tony said softly. “Oh, and order a couple pizzas, some fries. No, wait, cheese fries. I think I earned some cheese fries today.”

“On it,” Friday said in response. “But I must warn you that Ms. Potts said that you should--”

“Really don't care what Ms. Potts has to say right now, Friday, but thanks. Cheese fries.”

“Placing the order, Sir,” she said as he turned back to his guests, only just then realizing he hadn't yet shed the suit.

“Okay,” he said and with a tap to his chest the nanosuit retracted.

Loki raised a regal eyebrow, watched him approach. Tony stared back, blatantly appraising. He didn't remember Loki's eyes being quite so green.

“So, I ordered pizza. While we wait for it why don't you tell me what happened,” Tony said as the last of the nanites disappeared. He dropped into one of the club chairs opposite Loki and crossed one leg over the other.

“Who exactly are you?” Loki asked, looking between Roxanne and Tony. “Roxanne called you the Iron Man?”

“I'm Tony Stark,” Tony said, waiting to see if that jogged his memory but the blank expression in Loki's eyes told Tony that meant nothing to him.

“You really don't remember me.”

“No, I'm sorry, I do not.”

“I'm a friend of your brother, Thor. We work together on the Avengers.”

Roxanne raised her head and met Tony's gaze, eyes wide and mouth open. She rolled her eyes toward Loki and back to Tony. 

_That Loki?_ She mouthed.

She'd put all the pieces together quickly. Tony shook his head at her, a small warning. He didn't think it was wise to lay all that baggage back at Loki's feet just yet. Better to go slow. 

_Or even better, maybe I should let Thor tell him he tried to take over the world._

But Loki was too smart for Tony's own good.

“The Avengers...this is the group of super-powered individuals who fought Thanos?” Loki asked. “My brother is one of these Avengers?”

Tony nodded hesitantly. “He is.”

“Am I?”

“No.”

“I see.”

Loki frowned down at his hands, pressed his fingers together and sighed.

“He thought you were dead, Loki. I don't know a lot about what happened, but he saw you die.”

“By whose hand?” Loki asked softly, a typhoon of emotion kept securely checked behind a tranquil facade. But Tony felt the storm brewing. He knew what was coming. And if he pushed just a little bit, who could blame him? Better to know now just what he was dealing with. 

“Are you sure you're really ready for that?” Tony asked. “I mean, you have no context, no knowledge of what happened to get you there.”

“These are my memories, Stark. Moments from my past, forgotten, taken from my mind. I have a right to know who tried to kill me,” Loki growled and got to his feet, paced back and forth before the cold fireplace.

Tony watched him move, long and lean, graceful like a caged jungle cat. For some inexplicable reason, he rose and stepped into Loki’s personal space.

“Look,” he said, gripping Loki’s biceps, forcing him to stop pacing. “I have answers to a lot of your questions. I know who you are, I know a bit of your history. But I guarantee you’re not gonna like everything I have to say.”

“You do not need to treat me like a child!” Loki boomed.

Before Tony could move, Loki shoved him, sending him across the room and into the window. White hot pain bloomed across his back, but he was whole and most importantly not headed for the pavement below.

“Well at least this time you didn’t break the window,” Tony groaned when he could breathe again.

“Tony!” Loki and Roxanne yelled in unison. They surrounded him, helped him to his feet.

“I... I do not understand. I did not intend,” Loki inspected him for injuries. “I meant only to--”

Tony winced and sat down on the couch. “It’s okay, really.”

“Dude, I don’t think you know your own strength,” Roxanne said and then laughed. “You should have seen your face when he went flying.”

Loki scowled at her, softened it with a little smile and then resumed his pacing. Tony regretted having to push him, but he had to know. The fact was, Loki was angry with him and sure yeah, he pushed him. But if Loki had been human, he would have simply moved him back a few steps. But Loki was a god, or at least what passed for a god around here. Loki hadn’t meant to hurt him. Despite all his anger and frustration, there was no sign of the megalomaniac who had thrown Tony out the window.

“What do you mean, this time I didn’t break the window?” Loki asked.

Tony huffed a laugh, leaned back into the plush pillows.

“Look, I'll make you a deal,” he said. “I won't lie to you. But unless I think you're ready, I won't fill in the blank.”

Loki started to speak but Tony cut him off. “Not because I want to keep things from you or because I’m treating you like a child. “It’s for your own good. You’ve obviously been through a lot. Let’s let your brain finish healing before we pack it with baggage and family drama, huh?”

Loki scowled but sighed in resignation. “I see the truth to your words,” he said. “Are you certain you are okay?

Tony shifted, cracked his back and settled back into the couch. “I’ve been through worse. Hell, I’ve done worse things to myself. So, tell me about you. What do you know, what do you remember?”

When Loki finally spoke, instead of the tirade Tony expected, Loki told his story in an even, musical cadence.

“Roxanne found me in front of the hospital the same night this...what did you call it?”

“The Snap,” Roxanne provided.

“Indeed. On the night of The Snap she found me near death in front of the hospital. I remember nothing before waking in the hospital not four days ago.”

“You were in a coma nearly three months,” Tony said. He remembered what Thor had said about how Loki died. Thanos choked him, crushed his neck. Tony glanced at the flawless column of pale skin, no bruises, no injuries at all. 

“There was someone with him when I went out there,” Roxanne interjected. “A woman. I couldn't see her, not really. She was wearing that hoodie,” she said, gesturing at Loki. “She covered him with it when I left to find a wheelchair and when I came back, she was gone.”

“What do you remember about her?” Tony asked. Loki stopped his pacing to watch her too.

Roxanne shrugged.

“She was short, kind of small. I couldn't see her face, but her voice was a little husky.” She thought a moment longer and sighed. “The only other thing that stuck out was that she was wearing gloves. She took one off to check his pulse. After that, she was gone.”

Tony nodded slowly, chewed his lip in thought. “What about Loki? Was he out? Unconscious?”

She nodded but then gasped. “Wait, no. He woke up for a second, grabbed my arm and said…” She frowned and looked at Loki as though he might remember.

“What was it? Oh! He said to find him.”

“Find who? Tony and Loki said in unison.

“The Mechanic. He said to find The Mechanic.”

Tony froze.

“This means something to you,” Loki said. It wasn't a question.

_Shit._

“Um, a little. Maybe.”

“Do you know this Mechanic?” He’d stepped closer, bare feet and vulnerable eyes, wringing his hands and suddenly a strange mix of hope and fear.

Tony took a deep breath and blew it out, puffed up his cheeks before smirking at Loki.

“Me? Maybe? I mean, there a lot of mechanics in the world but I'm probably the only you know. But I gotta be honest with you man, right now I just don’t have a clue as to why you would have been looking for me. While you were. in the hospital, I was playing Gilligan’s Island in space.”

Loki deflated, slouched into the bend of the couch, long legs curled beneath him.

“Hey listen,” Tony said. “We'll figure it out. I called your brother. Roxanne and I are here. We'll help you regain your memories.”

Loki looked into his eyes. “Were we friends, Tony? Before all this? Is that why you're helping me?”

“We've had our differences,” Tony admitted.

Roxanne huffed a little laugh and Tony shot her a quelling look.

“Look, I'm not gonna lie, you have a... colorful past. I feel like Thor should be the one to tell you these things because he was actually there for most of it. I'm helping you because your brother loves you and because we've lost too many fucking people recently and I'm just really glad to get one back. Mostly I'm hoping our differences will remain in the past.” Tony shrugged. “So, no, we weren't friends. But I'm hoping maybe we could be.”

Loki gave him a wan little smile and looked down at his hands.

“My brother, Thor… he has powers. I am obviously strong. Do I have any additional powers?”

Tony sucked in a slow breath, unsure how to proceed. But if they were friends now, right? Honesty seemed like a good place to start.

“Yeah. Yeah, you do.”

Loki let out a breath. “Thank you, that is a huge relief.”

“How is that a relief?” Roxanne asked.

A tiny smile teased the corner of Loki's lips. “Because last night I turned blue for a time. And I thought perhaps I'd lost my mind.”

Tony smiled, patted Loki's knee and stood up. He headed for the bar. “No Loki, you aren't losing your mind. You are a very powerful wizard. You guys want a drink?”

“Yes please,” they said in unison. Tony smiled and grabbed three glasses. For the first time since his own resurrection, he felt a little more like himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~•

Roxanne picked at her pizza as she watched Tony and Loki devour theirs. They had gathered around a large granite island that served as a kitchen table. If you could call the room a kitchen. It was more like a space station with stainless steel appliances and black granite counters to match the island. 

_Surreal. I’m eating dinner with Iron Man and Loki at the same table. ___

__Leaving the questions of his own past, for the time being, Loki grilled Tony about his work and how he'd come to be known as Iron Man. She knew all about Tony’s story and found herself checking out of the conversation in favor of worrying about her own spinning thoughts._ _

___Who were those men at the hospital?_ _ _

___Did they realize Loki was missing? Did they know I helped him?_ _ _

___Holy shit I made friends with the dude who attacked New York. And that probably explains why he didn't know what a fucking waffle was. He’s from another planet._ _ _

___Loki. God of Mischief and Lies._ _ _

___What is my life?_ _ _

__She had a shift tomorrow. How was she going to go back there? She didn't even know if she should._ _

__When she'd clocked out after her shift, she'd seen the men on the security monitors, dressed in black body armor and carrying weapons. She’d known instinctually they were there for there for John Doe. She sped up to his room in the freight elevator available only to employees. But where did that leave her? Her name was all over Loki's file. She was the one who had posted his picture to the internet._ _

___Such a dumbass. Why did you do that?_ _ _

___But if you hadn't, Tony would never have known Loki was alive._ _ _

___Fine, good point. Not a dumbass._ _ _

__In the before time she’d been a nurse in the maternity ward. She’d loved her job. Some days it took everything she had, others she left with more than she had when she’d arrived. But she was doing exactly what she had dreamed. Then everything changed._ _

__Since The Snap, life had been an insane, nonstop thrill ride of crazy. She was all over the place. She came home at night exhausted, fell into bed and got up at the butt crack of dawn to do it all over again. You'd think with fewer people in the world there would be fewer patients. But unfortunately, there were also fewer doctors and nurses. So those who were left helped out where they could._ _

__She yawned and glanced at her phone. It was after midnight and she had to be up at 6:00._ _

__“So,” she interrupted the boys. Tony had pulled up a 3D schematic on his phone and had been explaining something to Loki. They both stared at her with matching expressions of expectation, eyebrows raised, lips slightly parted._ _

__“Some of us need to go to work tomorrow to pay the bills. So, I should probably be going.”_ _

__“Do you think it wise to return?” Loki asked, brows now turned down with concern._ _

__“I'm not sure I shouldn't,” she said. “If I suddenly disappear, won't that look suspicious? Besides, I can report back with anything that happens from the inside.”_ _

__Loki looked at Tony. Tony shrugged. “She's not wrong,” he said and then stood up to pitch his trash in the hidden compartment under the counter._ _

__“Or you could come work for me? The Avengers could use an on-call nurse.”_ _

__A thrill raced up her spine._ _

___Seriously girl, chill._ _ _

__“That doesn't eliminate the suspicious nature of me leaving suddenly just as the John Doe I found goes missing.”_ _

__“Okay, true,” Tony admitted. “Either way, consider yourself on my payroll. Go in, gather what intel you can and report back. When it's safe, quit. You have a job with the Avengers that's not going to leave you looking like you're related to my new raccoon friend. You're obviously quick, smart, and Loki trusts you.”_ _

__Roxanne smirked. Tony Stark was nothing like she imagined him to be. “Thanks for the um... compliment and for the offer. I'll consider it. In the meantime, I need to get home, get some sleep. Wait, did you just say that you have a raccoon?”_ _

__“Yeah, little dude, bit of a smart ass. I'll walk you down,” Tony said. He clapped Loki’s shoulder, gripped him just a beat longer than she would have expected._ _

___Interesting_ _ _

__“Loki, come on, I'll show you to your room. You can get settled while I see Ms.?”_ _

__“Monroe.”_ _

__“Ms. Monroe, out.”_ _

__Loki nodded and yawned before turning to Roxanne. Tony mumbled something unintelligible and wandered into a small study off the living room._ _

__“I understand why you are returning, Roxanne. Just please be safe. I would hate for you to be injured on my behalf,” Loki said, taking her hand. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles and bowed slightly. “I thank you for your help in finding my people. It seems that I will soon meet my brother and hopefully have answers as to what happened to me.”_ _

__Roxanne smiled at the gesture._ _

___Who does that?_ _ _

__He stiffened for a moment when she embraced him and then patted her back._ _

__“Listen,” she said watching Tony dig through a desk drawer as they talked. “No matter what happened, or who you might have been in the past, what's important to remember is who you are now. So, I hope you get some answers, I really do. I just want you to remember that you're the one in control of who you're gonna be from now on. Even past-Loki, that guy has no say. Just now-Loki. You know what I mean?”_ _

__Loki smiled, tired eyes meeting hers. “Yes, I understand. I will keep that in mind.”_ _

__Roxanne hugged him again and they went to see what Tony was up to. They found him bent over the desk with two phones._ _

__“These are for you. They're on my own service. Untraceable. They're both loaded with my info and each other's.” He handed them to Roxanne and Loki._ _

__Loki took his with a dubious glance at Tony. “I'll give you a tutorial in the morning. For now, follow me.”_ _

__He led them down a hallway with doors on both sides. “This is you,” he said to Loki and opened the door. Bedroom and bathroom inside. If you need anything just ask Friday._ _

__“Friday,” Tony called._ _

__“Yes sir?” she responded._ _

__“This is Loki, Level C security clearance. Help him out if he has any questions. And order him some clothes, something casual, simple. Give him some choices once he's settled.”_ _

__“On it, Boss. Welcome, Loki. Please let me know if you need anything,” Friday invited with her soft Irish lilt._ _

__Loki's eyes were wide. “You have a spirit in your home?” he whispered._ _

__Tony laughed. “It’s an AI,” he said. “Artificial Intelligence, a computer program interface to run my home, the Avengers compound, the suits, whatever I need.”_ _

__“I see,” Loki said._ _

__“You'll get used to it. Roxanne, I have plenty of space, you sure you don't want to bed down here tonight. It's late._ _

__She peeked into Loki’s room, the large bed draped in a ridiculously fluffy comforter called to her. Was that chocolate on the pillow? She'd probably spend another hour in commute if she went home._ _

__“Stay?” Loki said. “I'll sleep better knowing you are aren't traipsing about, getting mugged on your way home,” he said. “I do not wish to lie awake and worry.”_ _

__“See, there you go, do it for Loki,” Tony said stifling a laugh. “Friday, this is Roxanne, clearance level C.”_ _

__“Welcome, Roxanne,” Friday said._ _

__“Thanks, Friday,” she answered and smiled at Tony. “And thank you.”_ _

__Tony waved away her thanks and showed her to her room as Loki disappeared into his own. When his door closed, Tony turned to her._ _

__“Thanks for backing me up back there,” Tony said softly._ _

__She nodded. “No, I understand. As soon as I put it all together, I realized that this could be a lot more delicate than just your typical human amnesia patient. You did the right thing.”_ _

__“Is he healed? Like physically?” Tony asked._ _

__“As far as I can see. Although, based on what he said tonight he may not have full control over his magic. That could be a concern.”_ _

__She recalled the devastation that he wrought in New York and Germany. And he’d known what he was doing then._ _

__Tony nodded but patted her arm. “Thing is, there was more to all that than what you can Google. Loki was under the same mind control he was using on our guys. Thanos was pulling all the strings.”_ _

__Roxanne's heart sank for him. Hated by an entire planet for something you didn't even want to do._ _

__“That's awful.”_ _

__“And that's not even the half of it. But yeah, that's why, for me, unless he shows me otherwise, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.”_ _

__“What about the rest of the Avengers?” Roxanne asked. She’d heard about Iron Man's falling out with Captain America. The whole world knew about Bucky Barnes and what he'd been through._ _

__Tony made a face. “I’m working on it,” was all he said. “Listen, get some sleep. Take a shower, relax. Come back tomorrow after your shift and give us an update?”_ _

__Roxanne nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”_ _

__Tony winced. “Just Tony, please,” he said and looked away. “Let Friday know if you need anything. I'm headed down to my workshop. I have some things I need to finish.”_ _

__Roxanne watched him walk down the hall, absently rubbing his left palm, shoulders slumped, all his earlier balls and bravado seemed to retreat like his suit. She sighed and closed her door._ _

__~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__As Roxanne's door slid shut, Loki moved away from his own and sat stiffly on the bed, overwhelmed with what he'd overheard. He'd done something. He'd done something very bad._ _

__Tony had said this Thanos had forced him to do it but that didn't change the fact that some people still held him accountable._ _

__Loki stared at his reflection in the phone Tony had given him. He smiled, grateful for Tony's willingness to forgive and his generous assistance. He truly was something else, infuriating witty, brilliant...handsome._ _

__He just hoped he would be given the opportunity to atone, to make right whatever he had done. And should the opportunity arise to help take Thanos down, Loki very much wanted to be a part of that._ _

__He sighed._ _

__Roxanne had been right about his magic. He could feel it hum through his body and along his skin. But he couldn't seem to tap into it. He'd been trying from the moment Tony confirmed its existence to no avail. But if he was to be of any help, he had to regain his memories and his magic._ _

__“Pardon me, Loki. But Boss asked me to run some wardrobe choices by you. Is now a good time?”_ _

__Loki jumped when Friday interrupted his thoughts, looked around until he remembered the intelligent interface._ _

__“Yes. Now is a very good time,” he said, looking down at the clothing the hospital had given him. If he was to be taken seriously, it was time he ceased looking like an invalid._ _

__TBC_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading. Please review and let me know what you think.


	4. Intel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxanne goes back to work. Tony pulled an all-nighter and Loki is a little stalkery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

~~~~~~~~~~  
“Mr. Salvatore!” Roxanne greeted her favorite patient. She looked over at the other bed and found it empty. “Did Mr. Schwartz go home?

Mr. Salvatore grinned at her. “His daughter took him home last night,” he said and took the lid from his lunch. “It’s been such a quiet morning.”

Roxanne laughed. “Well enjoy your private room while it lasts,” she said and turned to leave.

“Roxanne, wait,” Mr. Salvatore called out.

“Do you need something else?”

Mr. Salvatore reached out his hand and she took it, surprised to feel a small slip of paper in her palm. “I just wanted to say thank you, Dear. For taking such good care of me.”

She smiled, squeezed his hand and then slipped the paper in her pocket. “It’s my pleasure.”

Back in the hallway, she frowned at her empty cart. Heart pounding, she pushed it down the hall into the elevator and pressed B.

In the basement, the elevator doors opened onto chaos. She maneuvered her cart through the throng of staff and took the right hallway toward the kitchen.

“Hey girl!” Bonnie greeted her and took her cart. Bonnie worked in the maternity ward with her. Now she volunteered her extra time in the kitchen too.

“Hey Bon,” Roxanne said with a tired smile. I gotta take a break. Cover for me and I’ll be back to help with the dishes.”

“Take your time, hun. We’re just about done here.”

Roxanne nodded gratefully and headed for the break room. She slipped into the adjoining ladies’ room and chose an empty stall before pulling the slip of paper from her scrubs. Heart pounding, she unfolded the paper and read the note.

_Some people were asking questions about you. Be careful._

Her day had been pretty normal until now. If you call waking up in Tony Stark’s penthouse apartment normal. So far no one had said a word about a missing patient or questioned her at all. She’d come in, changed in the locker room and gotten right to work. Now this.

Roxanne ripped up the note into tiny pieces and flushed it. Mind spinning, she opened the stall and washed her hands at one of the sinks. All she could do is continue pretending everything was fine. She’d go home at the end of her shift and text Tony about what had happened. She couldn’t just waltz back to the tower. She’d lead whoever this was right to Loki.

Roxanne jumped when someone opened another stall door, a pretty Asian woman in pale pink scrubs smiled thinly and washed her hands. Roxanne smiled back and left to do exactly what she would normally do, head to the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tony rubbed his eyes and looked up from the screen to see that the sun had risen.

“Shit,” he mumbled and stood to stretch. After putting the kiddies to bed he’d spent the next several hours reviewing Loki’s hospital records. Tony had seen the x-rays, doctor’s notes, the nurse’s notes, what he’d eaten for every meal since he’d woken from the coma, all of his vitals and countless other boring details. The only thing he could confirm is Loki had indeed been at death’s door and then made a remarkable recovery. A fact that the doctors had indeed noted.

The most interesting thing he’d found was the security footage from the night Loki was admitted to the hospital. The footage of the sidewalk where Roxanne had found Loki was clear as a bell. At 10:33 P.M. the sidewalk was empty. At 10:34 P.M. a very naked Loki appeared lying on the sidewalk along with a small, trim adult dressed in a black hoodie and jeans.

Loki’s injuries were horrific. His neck was black with bruises and bent at an uncomfortable angle; his eyes were puffy and discolored. Tony could almost make out Thanos’ handprint. 

The person's face pointed away from the camera, looking toward the hospital. Then they crouched down next to Loki and reached as though to feel for a pulse. Roxanne came out and then ran back inside. While she was gone the figure removed the hoodie and draped it over Loki’s lap.

With the hoodie gone, Tony could tell the person was female. She had a compact, shapely body, long, black hair with what looked to be bleached out streaks. But she never looked toward the camera. Before Roxanne returned, she was gone. She didn’t walk off camera, she just disappeared.

Tony had watched the footage a million times, frame by frame, searching for some clue as to who it might be. He’d had Friday analyze reflections in the windows and the cars nearby. But they couldn’t get anything that was helpful.

“Friday, where’s Loki? Tony asked, expecting to hear that he was still in bed.

“Loki was unable to sleep and explored the tower within the parameters of his clearance. He is currently making use of the pool.”

_Loki exploring the tower, what could go wrong?_

“No issues?”

“No, sir.”

“Have we heard from Roxanne?” Tony glanced at the clock above the door -- 8:43 A.M. 

“No word yet.”

“What about Thor?”

“No. However, I do have a message from Captain Rogers.”

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes. It did not escape him that his entire argument for forgiving Loki hinged on the exact same reason he should forgive Bucky. Neither one of them had been in control of their own actions. Logically, he understood this. Yeah, Loki had killed people. But Loki hadn’t killed his Mom. 

Something had broken the day he’d fought Steve. He wasn’t sure they’d ever be able to get it back. Steve had put the ball firmly in his court. He’d made it clear he was ready to make nice. So much had happened. He may never be able to forgive. But, in hindsight, maybe they could forget. Bucky Barnes had fought Thanos alongside the team, only to be snapped along with everyone else. But if Tony could get him back too, maybe he and Steve could start over.

“What’s the message?” he asked.

Immediately Steve’s voice filled the room. He sounded tired, sad, and just completely over it. And somehow more than anything, that hurt. Captain freaking America was over it all. What could us mere mortals hope to achieve if Cap had lost faith?

“Tony, it’s Steve. I --” Steve sighed. Tony could imagine him running his palm over his face. “I’d like to get the team together for a meeting tomorrow. Maybe? It’s been awhile. And I think we could use a little unity. Everyone has been doing their own thing, and that’s to be expected. But I’d like your support in this. I’ve received some reports that’s I’d like to explore and... I guess, I just think that it’s time we finish licking our wounds and regroup, you know? Anyway, I’m trying to reach Thor, but his voicemail is full. So, if you hear from him, could you let him know? I’ll send everyone the details. Just...please come?”

Tony sighed and decided to go check in with Loki instead of thinking about Steve, The Avengers or Thor. Loki should probably watch the security footage and see if it sparked any memories. He made his way down to the pool, stopping to change into his trunks on the way. He chose not to acknowledge the fact that he passed by the trunks that went down to his knees and instead opted for the ones that cradled his junk just right.

The 82nd floor had once been outfitted for The Avengers to train. Gone were the machines and weights, the sparring mats and the large boxing ring at the North end of the building. Now the floor was empty. All the equipment had been moved to the new facility. But when Tony bought the building back, he’d made sure to keep the pool in working order. He used it a lot. Since his return to earth, Tony found that he craved the weightless silence of a good soak. When he couldn’t focus, he’d head down and take a few laps, work his body until his mind fell into line.

The strangely comforting mix of humid air and chlorine smacked Tony in the face as he pushed open the glass doors of the natatorium. He strode down the hallway, passed the locker room and into the pool area and was immediately struck speechless.

Loki was swimming the length of the pool in a flawless butterfly stroke. His broad shoulders rose from the water, muscles working as his long arms came together, right before his bare ass broke the surface for just a mind-blowing instant. Mesmerized, Tony watched the gorgeous display of sinew and muscle powering through the water. Loki reached the other side, slipped below the surface, turned and popped up a moment later, moving through the quick, fluid motions of the backstroke. 

_And this is how Tony Stark dies. Not in the bed of a hot model or behind the wheel. Tony Stark - death by pool porn._

He tried to turn away. 

_Sure, yeah._

But he just didn’t. So, when Loki stopped at the edge and looked up into his eyes, Tony was completely unprepared for his cheeky grin and thorough eye fucking.

“Nice moves,” Tony managed to say.

“I apologize. Friday said this floor was within my security clearance and when I saw the pool, I just couldn’t resist.”

Tony smirked and put a clean towel down within Loki’s reach before descending the stairs into the water. “No, it’s fine. I can’t blame you. I come here a lot. Helps me focus since returning to Earth.

Loki sat down on the stairs, eyebrows raised. “You said last night that you were playing Gilligan’s Island in space, I did not understand the reference at the time, but Friday was most helpful explaining the television program. I take this to mean you were stranded?”

Tony ducked into the water, slicked back his hair and reached for the raft he kept by the side of the water. He hefted himself onto it and once settled, responded.

“Thanos,” he said finally. “I, along with a wizard and a stowaway teenager followed one of his minions to his home planet. Turns out we weren't the only ones spoiling for a fight. Met up with another group...teamed up,” Tony explained as he stared at the sky through the windows that lined the walls, allowing the sun to warm the room.

“We almost had him. We were so close. And then...”

Tony sighed, wondered if it was too early for a drink.

“Then he was gone. At the end of the day, of the hand full of people on that planet, only two of us made it out alive. We skidded back to Earth with barely a breath of air left, starved, dehydrated.”

“But alive,” Loki said softly.

Tony scoffed. “Yeah but why me? Why not someone younger, someone who might not fuck their life up so spectacularly?”

“I don't pretend to know anything about you or the life you’ve lived. But from my perspective, you appear to have done well for yourself,” Loki said.

“Yeah, looks can be deceiving. I would have been dead a long time ago if I didn't have the right people in my corner doing the heavy lifting.”

“Then you blame yourself for your compatriot’s deaths?”

Tony replayed those final moments, allowed himself to see it all again - Peter in his arms, begging, pleading him, holding him so tight. Tony drew a stuttering breath, closed his eyes and them immediately opened them again. It was too much like that.

Almost everyone had had skin in that game. But Peter’s was from a sense of responsibility a kid his age had no right to. 

_You can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spiderman if there’s no neighborhood._

“Just one.”

Tony sat up, one leg on either side of the raft. 

“I found this kid, smart as hell, amazing powers, doing the superhero thing all on his own. Called himself The Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman. I thought... I can help, you know, give him an upgrade, help him make the right choices...the choices I should have made. He was on that ship because of me. When Thanos destroyed half the universe, Peter…”

Loki didn't ask questions or try to reason with him. He didn’t try to explain that there was no way Tony could have saved Peter from being dusted. Peter could have been at school and still had been snapped out of existence. No, Loki just nodded as though he understood. It wasn’t that inane nod people give you when they just want you to shut the fuck up so they can talk about themselves. Loki nodded respectfully, gave him space to elaborate if he wanted to or just think.

And just like that, he decided to let Loki in. 

“I've been trying to find a way to undo what Thanos did,” Tony admitted. Loki didn't seem surprised.

“And you believe I'm a part of it.”

“I do.”

Loki pressed his lips together. “I have been thinking the same thing. Why would I have been saved and returned with only one desire? To find the mechanic.”

“Oh, that reminds me. While I thought you were sleeping, I managed to get all your hospital records and some security footage. The records only confirmed you were hurt. But I think you should see the security footage. There’s a clear image of the woman Roxanne described. But I can't see her face. I thought you might recognize her.”

Loki got immediately to his feet. “Why didn't you say so? Let us go.”

Tony watched Loki turn and climb the stairs. While he was swimming, Tony got a peek at the god's assets. Now they were on display like an 80's movie, slow motion, wet dream fantasy. 

Water streamed down Loki's body, highlighting each muscle. Tony followed a drop down his back, over the swell of his ass.

_Legs for days. And oh, that ass._

Loki leaned over to grab his towel and Tony had to stifle his groan when he caught a glimpse between his thighs. 

“Right. Yeah, let's do that,” Tony muttered, taking his time returning the raft and walking slowly until he was certain he wouldn't embarrass himself.

_Should have gone for the board shorts, dumb ass._

By the time Tony climbed the stairs, Loki had the towel secured around his waist. But that really didn’t help matters either.

_Fuck, I could eat a meal off that stomach._

Tony made a show of toweling off, avoided eye contact until he got himself under control.

“So, did Friday get you squared away with some clothing by the way?”

_Clothes, clothes are good._

“Yes, I thank you very much for your generosity. She expects for it to be delivered today after noon.”

“Great, let's stop upstairs first and I'll give you some loners till it gets here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki tugged at the sweatpants Tony had loaned him as they rode the elevator down to the lab. The pants were too short and large in the waist and the t-shirt barely covered his stomach. But at least he was dressed. He smiled to himself remembering the feel of Tony watching him in the pool. That had been a pleasant surprise.

Tony pushed all of Loki’s buttons. When he’d emerged from the Iron Man suit, Loki had been impressed - tight body, soulful eyes, and wit that kept Loki on his toes. Throughout the night, as Tony revealed more of himself, Loki realized he was also brilliant. But it also became clear that although he didn’t recognize him, he and Tony had history, and not an altogether pleasant one.

After Friday had helped him with his clothing options, Loki had attempted to ask her about himself. But she had declined, explaining that Mr. Stark suggested Loki not inquire about himself or The Avengers. Instead, he asked questions about Tony. He had been rewarded with videos, photographs, and articles about Tony Stark, “billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

_Really, how many times could the news use this line?_

Tony had given him the overview on how he’d invented the suit while kidnapped and held hostage in a cave. But to see the news reports and images of Tony after he was rescued, the press conference when he announced that Stark Industries would no longer be selling weapons, the betrayal of his mentor and the aftermath of that fight.

He’d also read much about Tony’s girlfriend and the CEO of his company, Pepper Potts. Tony hadn’t mentioned her, and the news reports hadn’t said anything about a breakup. Friday had only said that Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark were no longer living together, so he stopped inquiring.

It was inspiring to know that Tony had been through so much and was still fighting for the things in which he believed. Tony had insinuated that he should have been the one to be dusted instead of his protege. But Loki thought perhaps he sold himself short.

The elevator doors slid open to reveal an open, well-lit space with tables, computer screens and various machines of which Loki had no knowledge. Along one wall were glass pods with several variations of the Iron Man Suit. It was also evident that Tony didn’t do a lot of cleaning. There were papers, file folders and empty takeout containers on almost every flat surface. And the sofa in the little sitting area looked like it had been slept on more than occasionally.

“Um, give me a minute,” Tony muttered and cleaned off a stool for Loki to sit on.

Once situated, Tony pulled up the security footage. Loki watched intently, his stomach clenching when he appeared, naked on the sidewalk. He’d known he was injured. But seeing himself lying there, he knew without a doubt that he’d been resurrected. He’d died. And the being standing there, next to him had brought him back.

_But why?_

He leaned forward, frowned, watched as the scene played out exactly as Roxanne had said. The woman was slight, her long hair black like his own but with streaks of blonde. When the footage cut off Loki asked Tony to replay it. Tony showed him the buttons and how to manipulate the footage, slow it down, zoom closer. Loki examined it over and over until Tony busied himself at another table, allowing him the time and space to absorb what had happened.

He liked that about Tony. He respected the moments in between, the silences. 

He didn’t recognize the woman, but he instinctively knew her. When she touched his neck, Loki’s eyes burned with unshed tears. He knew this woman, was connected to her. But he could not say how. That thought alone made his heart ache.

“Hey,” Tony said softly, put his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Maybe this was too much. I’m sorry.”

Loki wiped his eyes. “No. No, I’m fine. It’s just --”

Tony moved his thumb in a comforting gesture and Loki looked into his eyes, struggled to find the words to explain. “I do not recognize her,” he said. “But I know her.”

Tony nodded. “So, you’re connected somehow then. You feel it, more than you know it.”

Loki nodded. “Yes, exactly. Seeing her there, even though I could not describe her face, I am profoundly, overwhelmingly sad.”

Tony patted his shoulder again and nodded. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get something to eat and maybe call Roxanne. I haven’t heard from her yet and I’m a little worried.

Loki fished his phone from his pocket and put it on the table. “You also promised to teach me to use this.”

Tony grinned. “Food first, technology later,” he said and ushered Loki from the lab.

~~~~~~~~~~  
STARKCHAT:

**iamironman** invited you to a group chat: 

**iamironman:** (12:14 pm) So how are things?

**iamironman:** (12:17 pm) I guess you probably can’t have your phone while you’re working huh? So, I’m probably worrying for nothing but could just text when you can to let us know you’re safe? **Dory** is getting nervous.

**Dory:** (12:18 pm) I do not know who this **Dory** is. But **iamironman** insisted we use special screen names and seems to think it hilarious. But do please contact us soon.

**iamironman:** (12:19 pm) Come on it’s funny.

**Dory:** (2:34 pm) What is a facebook? 

**iamironman:** (2:42 pm) DO NOT MAKE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT

**Dory:** (2:52 pm) Dory has linked a facebook account to their STARKCHAT profile 

**iamironman:** (2:53 pm) Damn it **Dory**. You’re supposed to be taking a nap!

**Dory:** (3:02 pm) Dory shared a video from ONTDcatz

**iamironman:** (3:15 pm) I’ve created a monster.

**sheRoxx** joined the chat at 5:35 pm

**sheRoxx:** (5:36 pm) Well you guys have been busy. I’m safe and alive. I’ll call you when I get home.

**iamironman:** (5:40 pm) Just come here. I made dinner.

**iamironman:** (5:41 pm) Okay I ordered it. But I did pick the wine all by myself.

**Dory:** (5:42 pm) I chose the wine.

**sheRoxx:** (6:05 pm) So I’m pretty sure someone is following me.

**sheRoxx:** (6:08 pm) Yep. Someone is following me.

**iamironman:** (6:08 pm) Where are you? Nevermind phone has a tracker. Go somewhere safe.

**iamironman:** (6:10 pm) Rox? 

**iamironman:** (6:11 pm) I’m on my way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read and hit the kudos and especially those who have taken the time to comment. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
> 
> If you could help Loki regain his memory, what would you try?


	5. Chrysalis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxanne deals with her stalker. Tony and Loki see a familiar face.

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

Roxanne heaved a relieved sigh as she closed her locker and twisted the combination lock. She switched on the phone that Tony had given her, as well as her own and bent to shove her dirty scrubs into her laundry bag while it booted up. As soon as the Starkphone connected to the network, it began to ding.

She hefted her bags onto her shoulder and made her way from the basement, smiling as she read through the chat log. She barked a laugh when she saw Loki’s screen name and glanced around, embarrassed by her unexpected outburst. 

She shook her head and tapped out a quick message before walking out the front door.

**sheRoxx: (5:36 pm)** Well you guys have been busy. I’m safe and alive. I’ll call you when I get home.

Her bus stop was only half a block away. She took her time, enjoying the unseasonably warm fall air. As she arrived at her stop, her phone dinged again.

I need to find them custom notifications, she thought and swiped at the screen.

**iamironman: (5:40 pm)** Just come here. I made dinner.

**iamironman: (5:41 pm)** Okay I ordered it. But I did pick the wine all by myself.

**Dory: (5:42 pm)** I chose the wine.

Roxanne smiled, amused that they seemed to be getting along. Last night she thought maybe she’d seen interest at least on Tony’s part. Although Loki too, to some degree. She glanced at the time and considered her transportation options. If she was going to the tower, it’d be best to take the subway.

As she made her way to the nearest station, Roxanne smiled. She had acquaintances, people she could call in an emergency or just to get a drink. But she didn’t really have friends, not anymore. Her parents had passed away the summer she graduated from high school. And her sister Annie, well, Loki and Tony weren’t the ones who had lost people to Thanos. Since then, she just hadn’t had the time or inclination to make friends a priority. So, while the circumstances behind meeting Loki and Tony were, to it mildly, strange and potentially dangerous, she was happy. And the fact that she, plain ole Roxanne Monroe, was now in a group chat Tony Stark, Avenger, and Loki, Norse god, was just mind-blowing. 

Roxanne was careful as she walked, conscious of the predicament she was in. She walked with her keys in her hand, the little canister of mace hanging from her Incredible Hulk keychain. The station was busy but not packed. So, while she might not normally have noticed the man in the khaki pants on any other day, today he seemed to stand out like a sore thumb.

_Or maybe you’re just paranoid. There’s that._

He followed behind her at a relaxed pace, a messenger bag across his chest. He glanced occasionally at his phone and seemed to be minding his own business. But he'd been behind her since she abandoned the bus stop.

_Coincidence?_

She stood against the wall, waiting for her train while the man dropped a few coins in a street performer's guitar case. He was attractive, with dirty blond hair and a face that seemed prone to smiling. But his eyes were stony and full of worry. His gaze darted about, as though he too was expecting something.

Roxanne boarded the train when it came to a stop and noticed the man board soon after. He chose a seat nearby and then seemed to focus on his phone.

_I am totally paranoid, this cannot be my life now. He’s probably just a dad on his way home from work._

She watched her fellow travelers exit the train as their stops were announced. When it was her turn, she waited until the last possible moment to stand up. Her heart leaped as the man followed suit.

**sheRoxx: (6:05 pm)** So I’m pretty sure someone is following me.

She tapped out the message in a rush, tried to keep her expression neutral and walked onto the platform. He followed her out of the train.

**sheRoxx: (6:08 pm)** Yep. Someone is following me.

Heart pounding, she ran headlong into a crowd of bodies moving toward the station exit. She tried to keep tabs of khaki man, but he'd disappeared in the crowd.

As she ascended the stairs, Roxanne thought she was home free. Until the people shifted. The man pushed through the throng, all semblance of ease gone from his expression. He met her gaze. Eyes wide, he opened his mouth to say something just as she felt a sharp stab in her arm.

Blackness rimmed her vision. Everything slowed. She turned the other way, reached out as she lost her balance and fell into the arms of a nightmare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ms. Monroe.”

Someone said her name, as though she were in a fish tank, garbled and bubbly. Behind that voice were a million others, mumbling, buzzing like a hive of angry bees.

She swiped at the noise, desperate for them to stop but it was pointless. They droned on, unaffected. Then she remembered the pain in her arm, hot and sharp. And the face.

_No. No. It couldn't be. What was that?_

Maybe she'd been stung. Maybe she was going into anaphylactic shock. Pain radiated from her arm, spread across her chest and down her body. She couldn't see. Terror blazed through her as someone touched her. No. More than just someone. There were hands all over her body, grabbing, lifting.

She fought them, punching, kicking, screaming and scratching until they finally stopped touching her.

“Ms. Monroe.”

That voice again, soft, gentle and kind.

“Please, we’re --.”

The voice was swallowed by the tide of bees. She reached for it, tried to find it until the tide took her under too.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony tapped his chest just as Loki's door flew open. Loki stalked into the living room, an approving grin replaced his scowl as he watched Tony's armor crawl into place.

“Friday's got her. I'll get her back. I promise,” Tony said.

“You are not leaving here without me.” Firm, insistent, Loki's back was straight. He was expecting a fight.

“Yeah, okay. Come on,” Tony said, glad that at least Loki's clothes had been delivered. He’d have hated to have Loki charge into battle in a pair of Capri sweatpants and a sinfully tight T-shirt. Future Loki, the Loki who will have his memories back eventually, would surely have killed him for that.

Loki raised an eyebrow, surprised that Tony wasn't putting up a fight, but only for an instant before climbing onto Tony's back.

“You realize this is a bad idea,” Tony said as he took flight, adjusting for the extra weight. Loki’s body was slim, barely an ounce of body fat except exactly where it should be. But he was heavy. He headed for the location on HUD. The little red dot was traveling away from Manhattan, toward the Brooklyn Bridge.

“Yet here I am.”

Tony smiled. “I wouldn't want to miss you tossing whoever kidnapped our girl out a window.”

“One day you'll have to let go of that.”

“Don't think today is that day, Prancer.”

“Prancer?”

Tony laughed, wondering what this Loki would think of that helmet.

“Someday you'll remember,” he said, flying over the bridge now.

“Ms. Monroe is in the white panel van,” Friday interrupted.

“Got it. Loki, hold on tight. When we stop, stay behind me.”

Tony sped ahead of the van and came down hard on the macadam, knee bent, fist to the ground. The van screeched to a halt, coming within inches of Tony's face.

He could see the driver, black flak jacket, sunglasses, completely non-descript. But Tony was sure he wanted to speak to the people in the back.

As traffic backed up behind the van, Tony waited. He’d expected bullets and a lot of yelling. Instead, he got the Car Horn Symphony in D Minor.

“Friday what's going on in there?”

“Two adults, male and female. Ms. Monroe as well, although--”

“Although?”

“Her vitals are irregular.”

“What are they waiting for?” Loki grumbled and made to step past Tony. But just then the side door slid open and someone backed out of the van.

Tony aimed a repulsor and called out, “I think you took something that wasn't yours.”

“You forgot to write your name on this one, Stark. You know it's fair game unless you write your name on it,” the man said.

Tony shivered, he knew that voice. But...

Agent Coulson turned to face him, hands raised. Well, one hand. His left hand looked as though it might be synthetic.

“Agent Coulson,” he said. “Welcome back from the dead.”

“Seems we have a lot of that going on this week.” Agent Coulson looked past Tony and Loki came forward.

“Hello, Loki.”

“I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage; I don't remember you, sir.” Loki stood at Tony's side, back straight, chin up. He wore a pair of jeans that should be returned immediately before Tony talked himself into seeing them up close, and a pale green T-shirt. Tony hadn't had the presence of mind to notice one of the T-shirts he had picked out himself.

_Agent of Chaos_ was written in thin, straight script in the center of the shirt. Tony smiled, oddly pleased that Loki had chosen to wear that shirt first.

Coulson glanced down and grinned.

“Nice shirt.”

“Thank you, it was a gift. How is it that you know me?”

Panic zipped through Tony's veins when Coulson cocked his head to the side and pressed his lips together and then opened his mouth as though to answer incredulously.

“I think we can leave the walk down memory lane for later, guys. How bout we focus on the girl in the back of the van first,” Tony said, steering the conversation away from the fact that Loki had, ostensibly killed Agent Coulson.

_Although, apparently not so much. ___

__But after Titan, after Thanos, nothing surprised Tony anymore. The only questions that remain are what Agent Coulson has been up to since his not quite death, where does he stand on the whole killing Loki back thing, and are they going to have to throw down to get Roxanne back._ _

__“I can't just give her back, Stark. Things have gotten a little complicated.”_ _

__“So not only do you take my stuff, you break it too?”_ _

__Loki shifted, drew Coulson’s attention, and approached the van._ _

__“Loki, I wouldn’t…”_ _

__“I grow tired of your verbal sparring. Shoot me if you must, Agent Coulson. But I am going to see to my friend.”_ _

__Coulson watched Loki pass by him, eyes narrowed. Loki slid the van door open and nodded to someone before disappearing inside._ _

__“So, he’s--”_ _

__“Amnesia,” Tony explained. “And I’d appreciate it if you kept your trap shut about everything until we’ve got a handle on that. Was that you in the hospital?”_ _

__“Yes and no. Listen, Stark. Ms. Monroe was attacked. She’s been...for all intents and purposes, poisoned. We’re her best chance to make it through this alive. If you want to see that she’s safe, get in the van. Or don’t. Either way, we can’t just let you have her. She’ll never make it. And even if she would, until we know the extent of her...poisoning...we can’t allow her to go.”_ _

__Coulson threw a look over his shoulder, waved at one of the beeping drivers behind him. “It’s only a matter of time before the authorities show up, Stark. I’d rather not be here when that happens.”_ _

__“I want your word that all three of us walk out of there, unmolested.”_ _

__“I’m afraid I can’t make you that promise. But I will do my best. It really depends on Ms. Monroe.”_ _

__“And Loki?”_ _

__Coulson’s face contorted in a sweep of emotions until he finally seemed to settle on something that looked like resignation. “You call the shots,” he said but then pointed a finger at Tony. “But I promise you, if he so much as puts one toe out of line, I will not hesitate to put him down.”_ _

__Tony nodded. “Fair enough. Let’s go then. You can explain on the way.”_ _

__~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__Loki opened the door to the van and looked down the barrel of a gun. He nodded and climbed in any way, taking a seat beside a young woman with dark hair and curious eyes. Beside them lay what could only be a body, shrouded in a sheet._ _

__“You’re Loki.”_ _

__“That’s what they keep telling me,” he said and reached for the sheet._ _

__“We were told you died.”_ _

__“Clearly not.”_ _

__“Don’t touch that,” the girl said, and Loki looked at her, brows raised._ _

__“Why?”_ _

__“Because she’s in a kind of stasis or chrysalis. We’re moving her to the safe house so we can monitor her through the process. But we’re not sure how long she’ll stay that way.”_ _

__The girl pulled back the sheet, showing Loki what almost looked like a statue of Roxanne._ _

__Loki frowned and turned his cold gaze on the girl. “Did you do this to her?”_ _

__She leaned back, but her aim did not waiver. “No. She was attacked. She...have you heard of the inhumans?”_ _

__Loki shook his head, frowned down at Roxanne. “No. Tell me.”_ _

__“Where have you been that you haven’t heard about the inhumans?”_ _

__Loki glanced up at the girl. “As you said, I’ve been dead until recently.”_ _

__She formed a little o with her mouth and Loki smiled. She was pretty, a little exotic, with chocolate brown eyes and a full mouth. Her skin was clear and warm like caramel._ _

__“Please tell me what’s happened to Roxanne,” he asked. Whatever this was, it happened because she’d returned to work to find information about him. He was responsible for this._ _

__The girl closed her mouth and nodded. “Inhumans are humans who essentially have human and alien DNA, the Kree to be specific. When they’re exposed to a specific chemical compound, they go through a biomorphic event. Their DNA is permanently altered. They develop special powers.”_ _

__The girl put down the gun as she explained. Loki relaxed a little. Developing powers seemed much better than being dead._ _

__“Recently, crystals that contain the chemical ended up in our ecosystem and inhumans started popping up everywhere. After the Snap, things seemed to die down a little. We hadn’t gotten a report of a new inhuman in a month or two. A week ago, it started again. Only this time, it appears that someone's doing it on purpose, changing people without their consent. That’s basically what happened to your friend.”_ _

__He reached out to touch Roxanne but remembered the girl’s warning and pulled back his hand._ _

__“I’ve been where she is. And it was painful and frightening. But I’m right here, alive and well. I’m not going to tell you there wasn’t a learning curve. But. It’s not the end of her life. It’s just a new path she never realized she had.”_ _

__“You survived the process,” he said._ _

__“I did. And many others have too. We’ll be there to help her through it, to deal with her powers.” She reached out and patted Loki on the knee. He looked down at her tiny hand. “We’re going to make sure she survives.”_ _

__The van door slid open. Loki shielded his eyes and saw Tony there, now dressed in only the jeans and T-shirt he’d been wearing before Roxanne had texted. The faint glow beneath his shirt was a reassuring reminder that should they need him, Iron Man was but a tap away._ _

__Loki slid aside, giving Tony room to sit, but not too much, taking comfort in his closeness. Tony slid his arm along the back of the seat, not touching him exactly, just there, an ever-present warmth that for some inexplicable reason made Loki feel safe. Tony looked him over and then nodded to himself before turning to Agent Coulson, who had taken the final seat behind the driver._ _

__Agent Coulson closed the door and called out, “Let’s go. Safehouse.”_ _

__“Daisy,” Agent Coulson nodded to the girl. “I guess you’ve met Loki. Let me introduce you to Iron Man himself, Tony Stark.”_ _

__“Nice to meet you,” Tony said. “Now, can someone tell me why Roxanne looks like she belongs in a museum instead of at home, eating the amazing dinner I ordered?”_ _

__Loki smiled down at his shoes and leaned a little closer to Tony while Daisy told him a story._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read, hit that kudos button or taken the time to comment. It means so much. 
> 
> I recently moved into a new home on Dreamwidth. So if you'd like to follow me there to hear about updates and find out what I'm currently reading and reccing, subscribe to my page [Here at Dreamwidth ](https://we-dreamerz.dreamwidth.org/)


	6. Cha Cha Cha Cha Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony, Loki, and Roxanne find themselves at S.H.I.E.L.D.’s mercy while they grapple with some big revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my amazing Beta Goddesses - LokiismyfavouriteAvenger & Dawn. <3

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

When Coulson said he was taking them to their base of operations, Tony imagined they'd meet up with the rest of the crew on their super-secret stealth plane, get in the air, check out some cool tech and finally have some dinner while they waited for Roxanne to break out of her cocoon.

Tony was wrong. Instead, when the door to the van slid open, it was onto the lazy sprawl of a suburban hellscape. Rows of cookie cutter ranch and split-level houses stretched as far as the eye could see. Tony could feel the mediocrity seeping into his skin even before his feet hit the ground.

“This way,” Coulson murmured as the driver helped Daisy unload Roxanne from the van. He led them from a blacktop driveway, down a winding walkway and toward a drab, grey house at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Tony pressed his palm to small of Loki's back and brought up the rear of the strange little procession, looking for the trouble that would inevitably find them. Loki turned to meet his gaze for a moment, eyes full of trepidation.

“Coulson’s a decent guy,” Tony murmured.

“With whom I clearly have a history.” Loki's voice was flat.

Tony drew a breath and nodded. “Yeah, you could say that. But the good news is he's not dead.”

Tony smirked and Loki rolled his eyes. He was about to press for further information, but they were met at the door by a short man with a quirky smile. He held the door open for them, glanced at Roxanne's shrouded form and then stood, turning his attention to Tony and Loki.

With a grin, he stuck out his hand. “Wow, Tony Stark and Loki Odinson right here in our little base,” he said. But then his expression turned serious. “You're going to need a lanyard.”

Coulson stifled a smile and patted the man's shoulder with his good hand. “Give them a little time, Carl. We've got a friend of theirs who just went inhuman. There's time to interrogate them later,” he said.

Carl glanced at Roxanne and back at Coulson.

“If you're sure, Director.”

Tony raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Coulson made Director. Maybe the rumors were true. He'd heard that Fury had been snapped. But no one knew for sure. He was a secretive bastard and you never knew when or where he was going to turn up. But then Tony supposed the same could be said for Coulson. He'd thought the man was dead, killed by Loki on the helicarrier during the Chitauri invasion.

“Yeah, I want to get Ms. Monroe into a pod as soon as possible. She's been in chrysalis for over an hour.”

Carl stepped aside and they followed Coulson from the small vestibule and into a sunken living room straight out of an episode of The Wonder Years, complete with a sagging flowered sofa and faux wood entertainment system. The carpet was a shaggy shade of brown that matched the paneling almost exactly.

“Having some funding issues, Phil?” Tony asked.

“Looks can be deceiving, Stark,” Coulson said with a smirk before pressing a hand to a panel on the wall. The panel glowed and the wall slid to the side, revealing an illuminated stairway.

Loki eyed the stairs and turned to Tony.

“Right behind you, Loki,” Tony said softly, understanding his reluctance. Loki had no access to his magic, his memories, his experiences. He was flying blind and relying on Tony's instincts to make the right decisions. The fact that Loki trusted him to do this made Tony feel oddly protective and even more surprising, proud. The fact that Tony recognized these emotions and wasn't actively planning to throw himself out a window made him think it was time to see his therapist.

_Wait, do I have a therapist?_

Pepper made him appointments, he ignored them, it's what they did. He'd have to ask Friday when they made it home.

But yeah, he was crushing on the god. No use lying to himself. Without the murderous glint in his eye and the manic grin, Loki was a fucking walking wet dream. Tony knew he should probably proceed with caution. This was Loki, God of Mischief and Lies, Norse god, and the man who practically destroyed New York City. Anxiety and nightmares had been his constant companion since he’d flown that warhead through the portal.

But was that really Loki? Hadn’t it all been Thanos? Thanos’ army, Thanos’ war, Thanos’ snap. Thanos had tortured Loki and Peter -- 

Tony understood Loki was a powerful wizard. He could probably crush Tony like a bug outside of the suit. But since his return from the dead, Loki had revealed himself to be smart as hell, funny, and just a tiny bit vulnerable. 

_Also, his ass should have been an Asgardian treasure. Yeah, there's was that._

Tony wasn't sure where Loki fell on the mater. He'd been shamelessly free with his body in the pool, cheeky even. But he'd made no overt indications on his feelings. Although to be fair, Loki had a lot on his mind. Specifically, the things that weren't on his mind. But since coming back from Titan, Tony had been mindless in his pursuit of a way to get everyone back, to the exclusion of everything else. He’d been in a tailspin until the moment he’d gotten the alert from Friday. 

As they got to the bottom of the stairs, Tony grinned. The basement of this seemingly unassuming ranch home was, in fact, a state-of-the-art S.H.I.E.L.D lab. Beyond a wall of what was probably bullet-proof glass was an open space with several workstations manned by individuals in white coats. They followed Coulson through this space and down a long hallway.

“We have containment pods for the inhumans. It adapts to their powers and keeps everyone safe until we can determine what their power is and how they control it,” Daisy said but then stopped dead in the hallway. She looked down at Roxanne and she paled.

“She's emerging,” Daisy exclaimed. With a glance at their driver and a seemingly silent agreement, they ran down the hall. But before they could make it into the pod, Roxanne exploded from the chrysalis, sending bits of black, fibrous material in every direction.

She sat up on the bouncing liter and grabbed her head with both hands, unleashed an ear-splitting scream as her whole body lit up like a Christmas tree.

Tony tapped his chest and pushed Coulson and Loki behind him. Roxanne opened her eyes, met his gaze as the nanites fell into place.

“No!” She screamed as a pulse of energy burst toward them. Tony extended his shield, braced himself as the wave struck like a hurricane until Daisy and the driver pulled Roxanne into a room at the end of the hall.

Tony stood in stunned silence, stared at the door, trying to make sense of it. How had he not known this was going on? Sure, he’d seen the news reports. But by then The Avengers were falling apart and they’d been downplaying the threat since The Snap.

_I should have known better. I should have looked into it. I’ve been so focused on… but I can’t just forget..._

“Tony,” Loki said softly, breaking into his reverie.

_Peter._

Tony retracted his face shield and turned to see Loki’s hand on his shoulder, green eyes full of worry.

“We have to help her,” Loki said. “This is all my fault. If she hadn’t been helping me…”

Tony blinked. Loki’s fault? How could he think that? If Tony hadn’t been so far up his own ass, working himself stupid most nights, wasted on the others, maybe he could have helped prevent this.

“Listen, both of you. S.H.I.E.L.D has been on this since day one. Neither one of you is to blame. Ms. Monroe was born with the Kree DNA. She could have been activated by simply taking the right, or wrong, depending on how you look at it, vitamin. But she was activated by someone intentionally. I saw it happen. So, instead of standing around blaming yourselves, help me figure out what’s going on.”

That’s when Tony remembered Steve’s phone call. He’d gotten some reports. Tony chewed his lip and then sighed.

“Okay, sure,” he said. “Yeah, I guess it’s about time I got the band back together,” he said. “But I want to see Roxanne first. “I want to make sure she’s safe. I want her to know we’re here for her and she’s not alone. I know what that’s like.”

Coulson nodded. “I can do that,” he said. “Follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bees were back.

_So loud so loud so loud._

“Roxanne.”

She remembered that voice. 

_So beautiful, so cultured._

But it sounded weird, mechanical, separate.

“Roxanne, can you...can you hear me?”

She tried to open her eyes, but the bees got louder.

“Loki?”

“Yes, Darling,” Loki sounded relieved. “It's me. Tony is here too.”

“Hey Rox, how ya feelin?”

“Wa...what’s wrong with me?” Roxanne asked and winced when she tried to open her eyes again. Her head felt too small, too filled with -- something.

“Where are we?”

Tony spoke then. “We're with some people who can help you feel better. They're um, old friends. You just rest for now and when you're up to it, we'll be right here, okay?”

“I can't, I can't open my eyes, it hurts.”

“My friends say you might be feeling strange, sick, maybe some pain. They said it's normal.”

Roxanne's heart beat like a butterfly but her head was starting to clear. Tony was trying to sugar coat whatever had happened. But she needed answers. 

_Why does my brain feel like it's crawling with bees? Why does my skin feel like it's on fire?_

“Normal for what? Guys, fucking tell me what happened,” Roxanne yelled. A sudden pulse of...something...rushed through her and outward. She heard something rumble but no damage.

Iron Man standing in front of her, shield up, protecting Loki, protecting the khaki man from...her?

The vision (memory?) punched her in the gut.

“Oh my God, what did I do. Tony, what the hell did I do? Are you okay?”

She struggled to open her eyes.

_I have to see, I have to see._

“Roxanne.”

She paused. It was a new voice, female, firm.

“My name is Daisy,” she said. “Your friends are here for you. But I am here to help you. I'll explain everything but I need you to calm down now. You don't want anyone to get hurt, do you?”

“No! No,” she said and took a deep breath.

“Okay, we've made some adjustments to your room. It should be helping you now, blocking out some of the stimuli and making it easier to concentrate.”

Slowly she opened her eyes, the lights were dim now, better than before. And the bees were just a low hum. 

She was in a little room, sitting up on a bed. The walls were white and clean. She was still in her clothes. But there were little bits of dust all over them. 

_Not dust. It lookes like...a husk._

She looked up at a window to find two familiar faces huddled together and a new face, friendly, kind.

 _Daisy?_

Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at her new friends and smiled. They looked so worried. But she understood now. She'd watched the news. She'd seen the stories. Somehow, she'd become an inhuman.

“You promised me wine, boys,” she said to Tony and Loki. “Somehow I don’t think just a bottle is going to cut it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Loki sat crossed legged on one of the twin sized beds in the tiny room he would be sharing with Tony. It was cramped and too warm, nowhere near the plush extravagance of Tony's tower. But it allowed them to stay close to Roxanne while she worked with Daisy through her transition. Tony had stepped out to contact Captain Rogers and Loki was taking a moment to gather his wits. But his mind would not quiet.

He glanced at the window and was suddenly overwhelmed with the need for some fresh air. He understood that Director Coulson did not trust him. So, he was trying to stay out of the way. But they’d spent hours in the basement with Roxanne and then another handful answering Carl's questions. At the end of the interrogation, he'd been awarded a lanyard which served as a key to open the doors he was permitted to access.

Loki remembered seeing a patio through some sliding doors in the living room and thought that might be the best place to get some air. So, he slid off the bed, opened the door and made his way down the hall. The living room was empty. Most of the agents were asleep and those that weren’t were working in the basement.

He stepped outside, breathed in the crisp air, and looked around the patio. It was large, with a fire pit at the center and chairs scattered here and there. At the far end was a brick half-wall. From there he could look out on what appeared to be a park. 

Loki jumped onto the wall, let his legs dangle over the other side. He looked up at the night sky and heaved a calming breath. The light pollution from the city made it impossible to really see the stars with any clarity. But he took comfort in the enormity of them, nonetheless. Right now, everything down here on Earth seemed so large, so all-encompassing. He burned with so many questions.

Tony was doing his best to keep Loki’s past from shrouding his healing in darkness. But he was beginning to feel as though if he didn’t reconcile his past with his present, he’d never be able to move forward. He’d never have the opportunity to atone for his sins or regain his power. And it was becoming abundantly clear that if he was going to assist Tony in returning all those lost souls, he would need it.

Or maybe he just didn’t like feeling helpless, at the mercy of Tony and agencies like this S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Coulson had confirmed that although they had seen Loki’s picture and had someone in the hospital monitoring him, S.H.I.E.L.D had not infiltrated the hospital the night Tony rescued him. That just made him all the more eager to regain his memories.

And then there was Roxanne. What happened with her had been avoidable. No matter what Director Coulson said, if she had not been helping him, she would not have been in the place to be activated. 

The swish of the sliding doors made Loki turn, concerned that he’d breached some sort of protocol.

“Loki?” Tony called and then stepped through the door when he caught sight of him.

Loki watched his approach, admiring his confident stride.

“Hey, you okay?” Tony asked.

“Yes, I just needed some air. Were you able to contact Captain Rogers?”

Tony sighed, leaned on the wall and looked out into the park. He looked so world-weary and sad that Loki found himself wanting to reach out and comfort him. But something stayed his hand. He didn't want to make things awkward.

“I did,” was all Tony said for a few moments. And then he sighed again and hopped onto the wall to sit next to Loki, close enough so their thighs brushed.

“I gave him an overview of what happened today. He wants to have a meeting at the compound tomorrow to discuss it and,” here, Tony made air quotes, “other things.”

“Will you go?” Loki asked.

“I mean, yeah. It’s probably for the best. And if we can help Roxanne in any way, then --”

Loki nodded. Tony was right, of course.

“And what of me?” he asked, suddenly unsure of himself.

Tony shifted to face him, put his hand on Loki’s knee. Loki’s entire being focused on the warmth of his palm, the weight of his touch. 

“You don't have to worry about them. I didn’t say anything about you, and I won't until you're ready. I wanted to discuss it with you first, get a game plan together. You can stay here or at the tower while I'm away. Wherever you're most comfortable.”

Tony’s expression was so earnest, so full of concern. And all Loki could think about was the smell of his aftershave, the heat of his skin.

“Thank you, Tony. For everything. I cannot fathom the choices I made in my previous life. But I am truly grateful for your willingness to trust me,” Loki said, gaze dipping to Tony's lips for just a moment before he came to his senses. He was lucky to have Tony on his side. To long for him in his bed was presumptuous at best.

“No thanks needed, Lo. Listen, I believe in second chances,” Tony said softly, holding Loki’s gaze in his own. “But, more than that, ever since you showed up, I’ve felt, I don’t know, hope? For the first time since -- I have to believe that you’re here because you’re supposed to be here.”

Tony squeezed his knee and smiled before turning back to the park. Loki couldn't help but smile too. He also couldn't help but notice that Tony never removed his hand. 

They sat together in companionable silence as the sky shifted into shades of purple, blue and magenta. As the sun crested the horizon the door swished open. They turned to see a young woman poke her head out.

“Mr. Stark,” she said. “Sorry to um, interrupt. But there's a delivery for you.”

Tony's face lit up. “Right!” he exclaimed and jumped down from the wall. He offered Loki his hand and wiggled his eyebrows. “I ordered breakfast!” he said, clearly pleased with himself.

Loki hopped down on his own but took Tony's offered hand with a smile.

“Brilliant,” Loki said. “I'm starving.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The tiny kitchen was full of curious agents, lured by the aroma of bacon and cinnamon goodness.

“Great! There's plenty for everyone. Let's spread it out. Get in there.”

They made short work of setting up a buffet. Afterward, Tony heaped a plate with food and found a seat at the long table in the dining room. Loki sat beside him and tucked into his breakfast. He ate like a goddamn porn movie, delicately pulling off little bits of bacon and making pleased little noises that went right to Tony's dick. When he licked the cinnamon roll goo from his fingers, Tony almost choked on his scrambled eggs.

“Are you okay?” Loki asked with wide, innocent eyes.

“Oh yeah. It's um, good yeah?”

“Yes. Indeed. Have you tried the waffles?”

Loki forked a bite into his mouth and closed his eyes, lips smacking in appreciation before he grinned. “I have just recently been introduced to waffles.”

Tony smiled, enjoyed the look of pure satisfaction on Loki's face. He supposed there hadn't had much time to indulge in the local cuisine while he worked toward world domination. That really shouldn't be as funny as it was, and he couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Then it occurred to Tony that that was probably true about much of Earth culture. He wondered what Loki would find most interesting, cinema, theatre, travel?

Tony imagined Loki emerging from the ocean, his long, lean body glistening with salty seawater. His tiny shorts clinging to his body, black hair slicked back as the Hawaiian sun sets behind him. Tony shifted in his seat and looked back at his plate. But it wasn’t long before his gaze wandered back to Loki. He noticed that the agents scattered around the room cast curious looks at them both. But none of them seemed hostile.

Just then a pretty, young girl in a lab coat wandered into the dining room with a plate of food. She smiled shyly at Tony and sat beside Loki on the other side.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” she said. “This is a nice treat.” She had an accent. British maybe? Scottish?

“My pleasure…?”

“Oh, Jemma. Jemma Simmons, sir. I've been with Roxanne this morning, running some tests. She’s doing very well,” she said and held out her hand. Tony smiled and shook it.

“I'm glad to hear it. We appreciate your help with this.”

“Not at all, sir. We are happy to help. The good news is we believe that her physical changes will be minimal. Her powers appear to be manifesting in a type of telekinesis. But we'll know more over the next couple of days. It sometimes takes time for powers to develop. Daisy, for instance, is still finding that her powers have evolved over the years. Although a bit more subtly.”

“Well, that sounds good. Coulson told us about some of the colorful powers that the inhumans have developed. After breakfast, I'm going to try and grab a couple hours sleep and then I have some things I need to take care of. Do you think it's possible to see her before I leave?”

Jemma nodded. “Oh yes, when you're ready just come down and someone will take you to her. Right now, she's resting. She's a little more relaxed but I know she’d like to see a friendly face.”

Jemma smiled shyly. She glanced at Loki and Tony could see that she wanted to ask some questions.

“He has amnesia,” Tony said.

“Coulson briefed me on the situation,” she nodded and smiled sympathetically at Loki. “I was actually wondering if I might be of some assistance. We understand you were injured?”

She looked him over for signs of trauma.

“Indeed, Ms. Simmons. I believe I died.”

“Would you consent to a few tests? I realize the doctors at the hospital must have performed the standard tests. But they wouldn't have been aware of your...erm…”

“Abilities?”

Jemma grinned awkwardly. “Yes. Precisely. We may have some more insight into your condition that they would have.”

Loki looked to Tony for guidance and once again that weight of responsibility, the thrill of this god's trust to steer him in the right direction settled onto his chest.

He trusted Coulson. Or at least he trusted that he would keep his word. If he said Loki was safe here, he was safe. And his people are loyal to him. But the thought of leaving him here, of leaving Roxanne here alone made him nervous. He didn't think he'd have much choice with Roxanne, not for a little while at least. She needed time to make sure she was safe. But the Avengers compound could keep her safe too. It was away from the public eye and had rooms that were strong enough to hold Bruce when he turned into the big guy. Not that he'd made an appearance lately. Not since--.

“I think it's a good idea, Loki,” Tony said finally. “But I’d like to bring a friend of mine in to work with you, Jemma. I'd like him to be in charge of both Roxanne and Loki's care as soon as Roxanne is able to be moved to the compound. But I think you'll find that he's quite easy to work with.”

“Certainly, sir,” she said. “With Director Coulson’s approval.

Tony smiled. “He's an old friend. You've heard of Dr. Banner, I imagine?”

Jemma's eyes widened and her mouth curved into a little o. “Oh, um. Yes indeed. It would be an honor to work with Dr. Banner.”

“Dr. Banner is welcome here anytime, Tony. I'd value his input on this.”

Coulson stood in the doorway, smiled. “I'm assuming I have you to thank for this?” He asked and raised his full plate.

“It's the least I can do for your help with Roxanne,” Tony said.

Coulson waived him away. “I'm just glad we were there.” He glanced at Loki. “I'll be honest we were hoping she'd lead up to you, Loki. We never dreamed you'd already found Tony.”

“I was most fortunate that he found me,” Loki said. “Have you any information about the others searching for me?”

Tony had to give Coulson credit. He showed no emotion, no fear or trepidation. His expression remained passive, pleasant even.

“We don't. Not yet. Although we're looking for them. We don't yet know if they're involved with Roxanne's attack. But we suspect they might be. Unfortunately, our resources have been significantly diminished since Thanos.”

“I may be able to assist with that,” Tony said. “Would access to my satellite imagery help?”

“It would actually.”

“I'll have Friday send you the details and access codes. If you need anything else to help find these people or the people who attacked Roxanne, ask Friday. She'll approve what she can and keep me in the loop. In the meantime, I need to grab a few hours’ sleep. Jemma, I'll get with Banner tomorrow and he will be in touch.”

Coulson stood up as Tony stood and offered his hand. “Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem,” Tony said and shook his hand with a smile. “I'll talk with you before we leave to discuss the details. Oh, I’ll need the specs on your little box before Roxanne comes to the compound until she’s ready to reenter society. And of course, we’ll throw a couple new ones your way just to say thanks.” Tony wasn't giving any quarter and wanted to make sure that Coulson knew it. But he knew when to play ball.

Coulson huffed a little laugh and nodded. “That sounds more than generous.”

“Great,” Tony said and looked to Loki who was staring at Tony with an amused grin. “Are you ready to get some shut eye?”

“Yes. It feels like ages since I slept.”

They excused themselves and found their way to the bedroom they were provided. Tony crawled into bed and was grateful for the darkening shades. He could make out Loki's shape in the darkness though and listened to him breathe, deep and even.

It had become clear to Tony that if he planned on pursuing whatever it was between them, it would have to be with full disclosure. He couldn't be the one with all of Loki's answers. He'd thought that Thor should be the one to tell Loki but if he thought about it, Thor had been a shitty brother. He'd been partially responsible for the way Loki felt, unimportant, second best. Thor had admitted that to Tony. He hadn't handled Loki's adoption well. And he'd never stood up to Odin. Maybe it would be better for Loki if someone else explained everything. Someone who could make him understand that he wasn't to blame for his origins. Tony wasn't sure how to do that. Or even how to start. But he had to tell Loki before someone else did.

His meeting at the Compound was at 4:00 P.M. That gave him plenty of time to get a couple hours sleep and take Loki back to the tower for a little talk before he went to the compound. But he worried about leaving him alone with all that information. No. It would have to wait until the meeting was over.

“Are you awake, Tony?” Loki whispered.

“Yeah, Lo, what's up?” Tony asked and turned toward him.

“Your political negotiations on my and Roxanne's behalf were brilliant,” he said with a chuckle.

Tony smiled at the ceiling. “It's what I do.” He shrugged into the darkness.

Loki threw back his covers and crept to Tony's bed. He perched on the edge, touched Tony's shoulder. Tony couldn't help but reach for his hand.

“Do you think Director Coulson will be true to his word?” Loki asked.

“Coulson’s a good man. And he probably would have even without my greasing the wheels but I didn’t it could hurt.”

“Then I believe I would like to take Jemma up on her offer to help me. I am eager to recover my memories.”

Tony squeezed his hand. “That's up to you, Lo. If you feel comfortable here, then I'm confident you'll be safe. Are you okay with me discussing your situation with the friend I mentioned? He knows you. You fought together actually. If any of them might be happy to see you, it's Bruce. And I'd feel better knowing he's looking over all of your tests. I mean I trust Coulson but only to a point.”

“I trust your judgment, Tony. If you feel it's for the best.”

_There's that feeling again, responsibility._

Tony squeezed Loki's hand, reluctant to let him go. The truth was Tony hated to sleep alone. Even more than that he hated waking up alone. Finding a random hookup just to help stave off the nightmares wasn’t worth the effort. He expected Loki to return to his own bed, but he stayed where he was, hand warm in Tony’s.

“I should --” Loki started but didn’t move, his body tense. And Tony wondered if maybe he Loki hated to sleep alone too. So, he took a chance. 

“Come on,” Tony whispered and scooted over to give Loki room, smiled when he didn't hesitate to crawl under the covers. Loki curled into his body, back to Tony's chest, and heaved a relieved sigh. 

“Sleep well, Tony.” Loki said softly.

Tony rested a hand on Loki's waist, fingers finding the strip of bare skin between the hem of his T-shirt and shorts. His skin was soft, warm and inviting. Tony couldn’t help but circle his thumb and smile when Loki relaxed against him, all tension leaving his body. 

“Sleep well, Loki,” Tony whispered, drifted off with the scent of Loki filling his senses. His last waking thought should have more alarming than it was.

_Jesus, I am completely fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read, hit that kudos button or taken the time to comment. It means so much. 
> 
> I recently moved into a new home on Dreamwidth. So if you'd like to follow me there to hear about updates and find out what I'm currently reading and reccing, subscribe to my page [Here at Dreamwidth ](https://we-dreamerz.dreamwidth.org/)


	7. Duty Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxanne makes progress and Tony has a meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, LokiismyfavouriteAvenger, Beta Goddess, for your encouragement and keeping me from smashing Loki and Tony together like Barbie dolls in every scene. =) 
> 
> Note, all errors are post beta and all mine, because I can't keep my grubby paws off of things. =)

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

While other little girls were playing house, Roxanne was pretending to be a superhero, a firefighter or a doctor. She and her sister Annie would create elaborate scenarios in which their Great Dane, Irma would star as the canine in distress. They would save her from imaginary bad guys, burning buildings and deadly diseases.

She'd been 18 when Iron Man first took to the skies. And she'd followed his career and those of the other Avengers, not like a fan girl, but like a how to video. They saved people. They made a difference. And yeah, things had certainly gone sideways. She’d followed the tale of Tony and Steve Rogers. Their falling out had been the fight of the century. Well, until Thanos. There was a part of her that wondered how things might have been different if Tony and Steve had worked together instead of from different ends of the fight. Would they have won? Would it have mattered? She didn't know.

As she stood at the window of her little pod, looking out at a flurry of white coats and body armor, Roxanne recognized the thrill of excitement that fluttered low in her gut. A week ago, she'd been Roxanne Monroe, exhausted but sassy nurse. Now everything had changed. She had, quite literally, changed.

Daisy, the S.H.I.E.L.D agent who seemed to oversee her case, had stopped by to talk and shared her own story. Daisy’s mother, Jiaying had led a community of Inhumans called Afterlife. They lived in seclusion, seemingly at peace. But Jiaying had been planning to frame S.H.I.E.L.D. in an attack against Afterlife. She wanted to turn the Inhumans against humans. In the resulting battle, an aircraft that carried the crystals containing a chemical that would bring on the terrigenesis for those who carried the Kree DNA, ended up in the ocean. Once it was introduced into the ecosystem, new Inhumans started popping up all over the place.

When S.H.I.E. L.D. caught wind of new Inhumans, they hunted them down and did what they could to help. Sometimes it was easy to help them integrate back into society. In other cases, it was impossible. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn’t had any idea that Roxanne carried the DNA. They were following her to get to Loki. But thank God they’d been there. Roxanne might have hurt someone if she’d been alone. And she couldn’t have lived with that. Knowing she’d hurt or even worse, killed someone would have been too much.

Jemma’s face came into view, she was smiling but she’d pushed a small tray up the window. 

“Let me guess, more tests?” she asked with a wry smile. She knew the drill.

Jemma nodded. “Sorry,” she said and snapped a pair of gloves onto her hands. But Roxanne didn’t mind. Jemma was good at her job, Roxanne didn’t feel a thing when she took samples. Jemma had a way about her, a little self-deprecating, charming sweetness that made you want to like her. And she was brilliant, easy to talk to and funny. Roxanne may have been interested if Jemma wasn’t clearly heartsick over someone else already.

Jemma talked about her partner Fitz as though he were still alive, only now and then recalling that he’d been snapped up in the decimation. Her smile would falter. Eyes watering with grief she’d change the subject. Roxanne could see her physically push down the pain to focus on her work. And it only made Roxanne admire the girl more.

“The good news is that I also have a tray of breakfast for you, courtesy of Mr. Stark. He ordered some ungodly amount of food for everyone.”

Roxanne smiled and accepted the tray through a slot in the pod wall. It smelled delicious and she wasted no time digging in.

“So, what have you found out?” Roxanne asked between bites as Jemma prepared her tools. She looked away, perusing her spartan environment as Jemma took her samples.

“We’re monitoring your vitals mainly, watching the changes taking place. So far there’s no need to worry. You’re healthy and the terrigenesis seems to have stabilized. Mr. Stark wants to bring Dr. Banner in on your case,” Jemma said with a note of excitement.

“Dr. Banner, as in --”

“The Incredible Hulk? Yep, that’s the one.” Jemma said with glee, clearly pleased at the opportunity. “Ready when you are.”

“Oh, right,” Roxanne rolled up her sleeve and stuck her am through a hole in the side of the pod. She raised her eyebrows and Jemma began to work. The Hulk, well, Dr. Banner, working on her case. She couldn’t even wrap her mind around it. She’d seen The Hulk on the news of course, but the elusive, Dr. Banner was a different story. He avoided the media and had never done an interview or press conference. Tony Stark was generally the mouthpiece of The Avengers.

But Roxanne had always been curious about the brilliant scientist. He was Jekyll and Hyde come to life. But Banner was an expert in the field of gamma radiation. She didn’t understand why Tony would bring him.

“Does the terrigenesis have anything to do with gamma radiation?” she asked and pulled her arm back through the slot after Jemma gave her the go ahead. She looked down and smiled at the iron man band aid.

“And does Tony know these exist? Because if not, he’s gonna want in on the marketing.”

“I’m pretty sure that Stark Industries makes them,” Jemma laughed. “And no, no radiation involved. But the mists in the crystals prompt a genetic change. It may not be gamma radiation, but Dr. Banner knows more about that than most of us. His help is sure to be invaluable.”

Roxanne stared at her band aid, thinking for a moment before she asked, “Are you...are you looking for a cure?” she asked.

Jemma pressed her lips together and shrugged awkwardly. “Yes,” she said finally. She paused before continuing. “The change itself, it’s traumatic. And some people are never able to reconcile their powers. Like Dr. Banner, they can’t control them. We’ve...we’ve seen some truly heartbreaking situations. We would like to give people the option of not having to go through that.”

“That seems fair,” Roxanne said. But there was something else Jemma wasn’t saying.

“But that’s not all,” Roxanne said. It wasn’t a question. She knew how these things worked. For every Jemma Simmons, there was a scientist, doctor, or politician out there who wanted to use people like the Inhumans to their advantage.

Jemma looked up from where she was labeling the vials of Roxanne’s blood. “We don’t who’s intentionally activating the Inhumans or why,” she said. “We don’t know how they even knew you had the Kree DNA or where to find you.

“So, you don’t think this has anything to do with Loki?” Roxanne asked, frowning. It made sense. Her DNA had nothing to do with her finding the god at the hospital.

“No. Honestly, Roxanne, if you hadn’t been helping Loki, we would not have been there to help you. The person who activated you ran off as soon as they saw Director Coulson. We truly don’t know what would have happened otherwise.

That thought gave Roxanne pause. All along she’d been thinking it was all connected. The thought that maybe it wasn’t, filled her with a sense of lonely unease. She found that she missed Loki and Tony’s teasing banter. 

“So, where are Tony and Loki?”

“Oh, they went to get some sleep. Mr. Stark has a meeting with The Avengers later. But I'm sure they will both be down later to visit. Loki has agreed to allow me to do some tests to see if we can identify from where his amnesia stems. The records Mr. Stark sent from when he was in the hospital indicate that he's healed physically. But they didn't know that he wasn't human.”

Roxanne nodded. “I never got to see the records. But observationally, he appears to have healed. I saw him the night he was admitted.” Roxanne shivered, remembering the bruises, the black circles under his bloodshot eyes.

“I thought he was dead,” she said softly and then laughed at the Princess Bride quote that came to mind. “Turns out he was only mostly dead.”

The joke seemed to go over Jemma's head. She just nodded, eyebrows furrowed, and said, “I hope we can help him. I know...I know that he was responsible for--”

Roxanne cut her off. “Actually, there's more to the story than what we originally thought. I can't really go into the details, mainly because I don't have them all, but it turns out Loki was being controlled by Thanos just like the rest of the people who were being controlled. Thanos was behind it all.” 

Jemma raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that's horrible,” she said. “But--” Jemma screwed her face into a thoughtful scowl, tapped a finger against her lips before continuing her thought. “I wonder if his memory loss was caused by his injuries or something psychological. If he was being mind-controlled, who knows just how deep that went, what sort of psychological torture to which he may have been subjected.”

Roxanne nodded. “Or both?”

Jemma heaved a sigh. “Thank you for telling me about this, Roxanne,” she said. “I think it will help me get to the root of the problem.”

“I think Tony's worried what the return of his memories might mean. Since I met him, Loki has been great. I mean, nothing like the person from the footage on the news.”

Jemma smiled. “If what you said is true, and Loki was being controlled, I think you'll find that when his memories are restored, he's very much like the Loki you met.”

“I hope you're right,” Roxanne said, but she wasn’t sure she agreed. She looked down at the Iron Man Band Aid and mind returned to her own problems. “So, when do you think I'll get to try out my powers?” she asked with a grin. “I mean, all that pain has to yield something interesting, right?”

“As soon as all your vitals have stabilized, Daisy will start working with you. But she asked me to give you these in the meantime.” 

Jemma opened the slot and slid a box inside. Roxanne opened it to find a box of objects, a ping pong ball, some coins, a little metal thimble from a Monopoly game, and other random things you might find in a junk drawer.

“What the fuck?” Roxanne asked with a confused smile, holding up a strangely shaped rubber piece.

“That's where my stopper went,” Jemma laughed. “We think, based on some of the tests we've performed, the readings from the pod and your...initial actions...that your powers may be telekinetic. Daisy said work on these small objects, try and move them around. Stretch your wings a little, see what happens.”

Roxanne laughed. “Nice of her to provide a box of safe objects to start with.”

Jemma secured the last vial of blood and stood up. “I guess we all have to start somewhere,” she said with a cheeky smile. “If you need anything, press that button there. I'll be by later with some books if you're interested.”

Roxanne smiled. “Now you're speaking my language. I'll read just about anything. Surprise me.”

When Jemma had taken her leave, Roxanne took the box of objects to her bed and dumped them out. Nope, not a pokey thing in sight.

“Telekinesis. That's pretty cool. Not as cool as like...pyromancy. But still cool,” she murmured to herself. She picked up Jemma's rubber stopper and stared at it, rolled it between her fingers before laying it on her palm.

She wasn’t sure what she expected, a little wiggle maybe? She stared at the stopper for a full minute, feeling stupid. She had no idea how to get started.

_Okay. telekinesis. That means, I can move shit with my mind, right? So…._

Roxanne imagined a giant swish of energy flowing from her mind, pushing against the stopper. She yelped in surprise when it flew across the pod and bounced against the wall.

Frozen, she stared a minute, eyes wide.

“Holy fuck,” she whispered, staring at the stopper as it came to a stop a couple of feet away. “I wonder--”

She imagined a claw like in the machines at the arcade and envisioned it grasping the stopper. She held her breath as the stopper lifted into the air and slowly approached her. When it dropped into her open palm, Roxanne grinned and whooped with delight as she got to her feet.

“Did anyone see that?” She yelled and peeked out her window. No one was around. But a friendly, familiar male voice came over the speaker.

“I did, Ms. Monroe. Very well done, you'll be a pro in no time.”

“Director Coulson?” she asked, spying the camera in the corner. She would have been surprised if they weren't monitoring her.

“Yep, just monitoring your progress. You're handling this brilliantly.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said with a smile, surprised at how remarkably nice everyone was for a shadowy government agency. She said as much and enjoyed his pleasant laughter.

“I'm glad you think so, Ms. Monroe. We're on your side, despite the stories you may have heard to the contrary.”

“I appreciate your help.”

“It's our pleasure. I'm headed to a meeting. I'll leave you to your box,” he said with a definite note of amusement. “If you need anything at all, just press the button.”

She chuckled and dropped the stopper into the box. “Thank you, Sir.”

Roxanne looked around her little pod, eyed the privacy screen at the end and decided to go exploring. If she didn't brush her teeth soon, she was going to have to pry the dead cat off her tongue with a crowbar.

~~~~~~~~~~

When the first few beats of Thunderstruck echoed through the quiet little room, Tony's eyes popped open, his heart hammered with fear.

“Kill it with fire,” a familiar voice intoned from beneath the covers, and Tony smiled when he remembered where he was. He stretched to turn off his alarm and then swiped a hand over his face to clear his sleep-fogged mind.

Loki hummed pleasantly, burrowed deeper under the covers and closer to Tony. He'd turned while they slept and now, he was curled against Tony's chest, his long legs tangled with Tony's. He had no idea where this was going or whether it was even a good idea. But there in that moment, he found a sense of comfort he hadn't felt, hadn't allowed himself to feel since he'd left Pepper standing alone in the park. But he knew it wouldn’t last forever.

Tony knew the moment Loki came fully awake. He stiffened, withdrew his legs and pulled bact just a little bit. He didn’t turn away or jump out of bed but that lazy sense of comfort retreated into a friendly distance.

Tony wasn’t trying to push. Loki didn’t even know who he really was for Christ’s sake. So, Tony stretched and yawned. 

“Duty calls,” he said softly and rolled out of bed, turning to hide the erection tenting his boxers. He dressed without turning on the light and then huffed a laugh at Loki who had pulled the covers around himself like a burrito.

“Get some more sleep If you can.”

“Yes, Sir,” Loki said and peeked up at Tony through strands of inky hair.

It was so much longer than Tony remembered it, softer. Tony wanted to wind a strand around his finger and kiss his inviting lips. Instead, patted what he thought was Loki’s shoulder and whispered, “Sleep well, Senor Loki.”

“Have fun Avengering,” Loki murmured from the confines of his burrito.

~~~~~~~~~~

With a bag full of burritos, Tony pulled into the Avengers compound and looked up at the hulking structure.

_Looks like shit._

The grounds weren't cared for and it showed. He didn't spend a whole lot of time there, preferring to let Steve run the show from here and stop by only if he was needed. But he supposed it was time he got more involved before the team let the compound sink into the ground.

“Friday, make a note to hire some grounds keepers,” he said. “Set up some interviews for Steve.”

“On it, Boss,” she said.

Tony sighed and grabbed the bag of food.

“Now or never, I guess,” he said and left the comfort of his car.

Mercifully, Tony found Bruce alone in the common room, munching on a bowl of cereal.

“Tony, you made it,” he said with a note of relief in his voice.

“Yeah, Cap called,” he glanced around to make sure they were alone. “Listen when we’re done here, I have something I need to discuss with you. But, not here. Do you have some time?”

“Of course, Tony. Everything okay?” Bruce looked him over, eyebrows creasing in worry. Bruce was still experiencing performance anxiety. The Big Guy had refused to make an appearance since he’d returned from Sakaar. He’d helped in the battle against Thanos but he felt responsible for the loss because Hulk had refused to show. Tony guessed they all felt that way to some degree. Woulda, shoulda coulda. But in the end, had they ever really stood a chance? Tony didn’t know.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll explain a little at the meeting. But there’s more to it. I need your help, bud, I’m just not ready to bring the team in yet.”

“Of course, you know I’m here for you, man.”

“Great, hey, has Thor made it in? I’ve been trying to reach him.”

Bruce tipped his bowl over and drank the last of his milk before answering. “No, we haven’t seen him for at least a week. He’s been busy with the Asgardian refugees.”

Several pods managed to escape Thanos’ attack of the Asgardian ship. Thor’s Valkyrie had led them to Earth, and they were making a temporary home somewhere in Norway. Thor was their King and he’d been looking for a more permanent solution to creating a new Asgard that wasn’t dependent on Earth’s generous, and fickle nature.

“Still no luck on a new home?”

Bruce shook his head. “None that I know of.”

Tony nodded and froze when Bruce’s gaze slid behind him.

“Hey, Steve,” Bruce said in greeting, giving Tony a moment’s warning to rearrange his face into something that resembled a smile before he turned around.

“Bruce...Tony?” It was a question, a plea. The ball was in Tony’s court, had been for a while now. Tony had worked through his rage. But if he was being honest with himself, and let’s face it, that was sometimes hard for Tony to do, he knew that Loki’s appearance, the reality of just how fucked up you could be with someone else pulling the strings, had made all the difference in Tony’s willingness to play nice. So, he heaved a breath, schooled his face into a relaxed smirk and turned to face the man who had once been his friend.

“Cap, how’s it hangin?”

Steve smiled and seemed to relax. “It’s good to see you, Tony.”

Tony nodded, words caught on the emotions tightening his throat. “Yeah, it’s been too long.”

He wouldn’t apologize. But he didn’t really think Steve could either. But he could forgive, if only for the sake of working together again. He missed this. He missed the team. It was time for Mommy and Daddy to make up for the sake of the kiddies.

 _Totally the Daddy in this scenario._

Steve walked over slowly and stuck out his hand in offering. A Captain America handshake. How could Tony turn that down? So, he took Steve’s offering and squeezed, hoping that Steve knew how hard it was, how wrecked he’d been in the wake of their falling out. But then Steve did something he was not expecting.

“I’m sorry, man,” he said. “Not for...not for the fight, or what I did. But that it was even necessary. I... I hate what it did to us.”

_So, it’s all cards on table then._

“Me too,” Tony said. “And, for what it’s worth, I’ve recently had a different perspective on what Barnes went through. So…”

Steve nodded. “Thank you for saying that.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before someone spoke from the doorway.

“Are you two done brushing each other’s hair? We have a meeting to get to.”

Tony looked up and smiled.

“Agent Romanoff,” Tony smirked. Her hair was still blonde, a little longer than he remembered. She was dressed in a pair of slim fit jeans, blue tank top and a plaid flannel.

“Mr. Stark,” she said a genuine smile curving her lips. “Everyone is waiting in the conference room.”

“Great,” Bruce said and got to his feet. He clapped Tony and Steve on the back. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~

 _Everyone._

Tony looked around the room, noting each and every empty chair.

Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Nebula, and Rocket all took seats around the table. He was surprised to find that Wong had also joined them via what appeared to be a magical projection and a hologram at the center of the table displayed several delegates from Wakanda.

Tony took a seat between Nebula and Rocket. Nebula looked him over and nodded.

“Hey,” he said. They’d spent countless hours together in that ship. She’d helped him get home. But he was still just as perplexed by her as he’d been on day one. She’d grown less aggressive toward him, but she’d never been one for conversation or sharing. He only knew that she had one goal, to kill Thanos. For the time being, they shared that goal, so she chose to align herself with the Avengers. But Tony was under no illusion. If at any time she decided that their goals had diverged, or that she could get further on her own, she would be gone in a heartbeat. She was not a team player.

“Hey ah, Tony,” Rocket said quietly, “I was meaning to ask you. I’m working on the Benatar, getting her up and running again. I’d like your input on some of the modifications you made on your ride home.”

A walking, talking racoon will never not be cool, especially one who can match me in intellect and love of all things tech.

“Yeah, sure, man,” Tony said. “I’ll set up some time with you this week?”

“Great and while you’re at it, can I get a tour of that Hall of Armor? I couldn’t help but notice it was locked.”

Rocket grinned. Tony grinned back. He’d gotten an alert each time Rocket tried to break into the Hall of Armor. Friday sent him video surveillance and a log of everything he did. So far Tony’s security had outwitted Rocket. But it wouldn’t be long before Tony had to up his game. He looked forward to the challenge.

“Yeah, no can do, bud. The Iron Man tech is proprietary,” Tony said, catching the gleam in Rocket’s eye. He’d just upped the ante.

“Oh right, right,” Rocket said. “Well, maybe someday.”

Tony smirked as Steve took his place at the head of the table. Everyone quieted, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Thanks, everyone for coming,” he said. “It’s been awhile since we all came together as a team. We’ve lost some friends,” he said solemnly. “And we’ve gained a few too.” He looked at Rocket, Nebula, Wong, and the Wakandans. “We’ve had time to grieve. But I think it’s time we get back to doing what we do best. Nick Fury started the Avenger Initiative to protect Earth. And we’ve failed to do so. We let our differences get in the way when we should have been fighting side by side. So now I want to invite our new friends to the table, those from Earth and those from other worlds. We lost to Thanos. But Earth and the worlds beyond our own, they need us more than ever now.”

“And if we get the chance to take him on again?” Nebula growled? “Will we stand together then?”

Steve stood up and looked Nebula in the eye, something Tony found difficult to do. “If I’m given the opportunity to take Thanos down, I would do so without hesitation, Ma’am,” he said, voice unwavering. “I would avenge our lost friends.”

“But would you take them back?” Tony said, before he realized what he was saying.

Everyone turned to him in silence, a tremor of palpable curiosity.

Yeah, okay, just, go with it.

“Get them back?” Steve said. And Tony knew what he was thinking, he knew Bucky’s memory blazed bright in Steve’s mind.

Tony stood up. “Get them back.”

“Do you...have you…” Bruce stammered and cleared his throat. “Have you found something?”

Tony frowned. “Not yet. But I’m working on something. Have been since I got back.”

“Tony --” That was Bruce’s ‘I’m worried Tony’s going off the deep end again’ voice. It’s why he hadn’t said anything about Project Phoenix till now.

“Listen, I know what you’re going to say. And believe me, I was beginning to think I was wasting my time, grasping at straws. But recently I’ve had some...hopeful things happen. But what I’m asking is this. If I found a way to bring them back, would you help me?” Tony was asking the room. But he looked at Steve, looked him right in his eyes and asked for his help.

“Would you trust me to help you?” Steve asked.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Like you said, it’s time we start playing for the same team.”

Steve smiled and nodded. “Then yeah, Tony. If you have a lead, I would help you.”

Tony nodded. “Then I will let you know as soon as I have something viable.”

Bruce was looking at Tony with his squinty eyes, trying to get a read. Tony glanced at him but kept his attention on Steve.

“Thank you, Tony,” he said. Tony could see that he wanted to ask more questions. But they had guests. And Tony could only assume that meant Steve wanted them on the team too. When Steve turned to the Wakandans, Tony realized he’d figured right.

“We realize that Wakanda still grieves. But we are hoping to learn from our mistakes. We signed The Accords. But in the wake of Thanos’ attack, they were nullified. And since then, nothing has been put into place. I propose that, in the spirit of the good the Accords were attempting and in spite of the bad, we form an alliance. Those with powers and abilities, those willing to fight, we work together, form our own agreement, answer to our own counsel of individuals and keep doing what we can to protect those who need protecting.”

“What you propose is noble, Captain Rogers”, one of the Wakandans said. And it is something we have discussed at length when you were with us here on Wakanda. T’Challa believed in the The Avengers. And I know he would side with you on this. Yet there are still many in Wakanda who believe we should never have opened our borders. We choose our new king within the week. We will wait and seek counsel with our king. At that time, we will provide you our decision.”

Steve bowed with respect. “Thank you for your consideration. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if there is anything we can help you with.”

The Wakandans crossed their arms in salute and cut the feed. The hologram disappeared and Steve sat down. Tony realized he was still standing and followed suit.

Wong spoke up then. “I will bring your proposal to The Masters of Mystic Arts, Captain Rogers and report to you their decision,” he said and began to fade but returned and turned to Tony. “For what it’s worth, I believe Dr. Strange would have also been in favor of an alliance of some sort. Mr. Stark, I have no way of knowing what you may be researching. But I find I agree with the path you are walking. I’ve thought from the beginning that there must be some way to return our lost souls. If you have need, I am most willing to assist where I can.” A business card dropped onto the table in front of Tony. Wong bowed and disappeared.

The room was quiet a moment longer before Rocket stood up on the chair, stretched and said, “Well that went well,” he hopped down and was making his way to the door before Steve stopped him.

“Actually, guys, I have some more local intel to discuss, if you have some time,” he said.

Rocket sighed but returned to his chair. “Lay it on me, Cap,” he said, kicking his feet onto the arm rest.

Tony laughed and relaxed a little now that the guests were gone.

“So, I’ve been hearing reports of people with powers popping up. Sometime causing problems, sometimes disappearing altogether. I think we should look into it,” Steve said, pulling up news reports on the holoscreen.

“Inhumans,” Tony said and the second time, everyone turned to look at him. He smiled. “Yeah, I’ve been a little busy, been making friends. Let me tell you about Roxanne.” 

Tony spent the next hour telling them about Roxanne and everything he knew about the Inhumans, leaving out Loki’s involvement. He’d tell them eventually. But he wasn’t ready yet. Loki wasn’t ready yet.

Instead of through Loki, he told them he’d met Roxanne during a late-night trip to the Emergency Room. Not his own, of course. He’d found someone out cold and taken him to the hospital. He told them he’d met Roxanne and was immediately impressed with her. He’d asked her to come work at the compound and they were texting the next day discussing his invitation to dinner to discuss his offer when she’d realized she was being followed. He also told them about the revelation that Phil Coulson was still alive. Natasha had been surprised. She’d been with S.H.I.E.L.D until going rogue with Steve. Tony thought she of all people might have known.

“So, if you don’t mind, Bruce, I’d like you to take charge of Roxanne’s case when Coulson releases her,” 

“Yeah, of course, Tony,” Bruce said, and Tony couldn’t help but smile. He knew that look. Bruce was curious and was already anxious to see how the Inhumans ticked. “I’ll come back to town with you if that’s okay?”

“Perfect,” Tony said. “Coulson sent over the specs of the containment pods they use for the new and misbehaving Inhumans. I’d like some help getting a few ready. If what they said is true, we may be seeing more Inhumans popping up. We need to be ready.”

“Agreed,” Steve said. “Nebula, Rocket, can we count on you to start fabricating?” he asked.

“Course, Cap. Sounds interesting. Tony, you wanna send us over the specs and we’ll get started?”

“Will do, thanks, guys" Tony said and turned back to Natasha and Steve. “Coulson’s group isn’t the S.H.I.E.L.D we grew to distrust. It’s a small splintered cell of good people. They’re treating Roxanne well. They’ve been through some shit. Some crazy person running around triggering new Inhumans now, when they’re at their weakest isn’t helping. Any help we can provide them will benefit everyone.”

“I sent the records Coulson gave me to all of you,” Tony said. “It includes some of the Inhuman case studies. Very interesting read.”

Steve heaved a sigh. “Thanks, Tony,” he said. And Tony got the impression he meant more than just providing the intel. “Keep us all posted about Roxanne. Tony, what are your thoughts on bringing Coulson and his people in on an alliance?”

“I’m not sure yet. My gut tells me to trust him. But the jury is still out. Can’t hurt to meet with him though,” Tony said, wondering if Coulson would keep his trap shut about Loki. He’d have to warn him ahead of time.

Steve adjourned the meeting and Tony asked Bruce to meet him out front. “Grab some clothes, you might be gone for a couple days.”

When they’d finally escaped the compound and were several miles down the road, Bruce finally lost his patience. 

“Alright, Tony. I’ve waited long enough, what’s going on? What didn’t you tell the group?”

“Friday, Show Dr. Banner the files for Operation Phoenix,” Tony said.

Bruce quietly paged through Tony’s notes until he came to the photograph of Loki that Roxanne had taken in the hospital. He paused, paged ahead and back to Loki’s picture before he turned to Tony and heaved a sigh.

“Is that...is that, Loki?” Bruce said with a grin.

“Yep,” Tony said, popping the p at the end.

Bruce’s smile morphed into a worried frown.

“But Loki died. I... Tony, what did you do?”

Tony was about to answer him, but the distant roll of thunder brought them both up short.

“Shit,” they said in unison and looked to the sky for signs of Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read, hit that kudos button or taken the time to comment. It means so much.


	8. Thunderstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor drops by for a visit. Loki and Roxanne have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, LokiismyfavouriteAvenger and Dawn, my Beta Goddesses, for everything you do. 
> 
> Readers...I've had a crazy last couple weeks with my schedule. So my writing time has suffered. I hope to get back to a weekly schedule. Thanks for your patience.

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

“You know the way back to the tower, right, Bruce?” Tony said, swinging the car into an abandoned gas station. They had more of that since the snap, abandoned gas stations, cars, empty buildings and parking lots. “Never mind. Friday?”

“Yes, Boss?” 

“Get Doctor Banner back to the tower, please. Allow him entrance, open up his floor.”

“Of course, Boss.”

Tony opened his car door and tapped his chest to activate the nanites. They crawled across his body to form the Iron Man armor.

“The tower?” Bruce called and scrambled out of the car. “Tony? Where are you going? Didn’t you sell the tower?” Bruce asked.

“Almost.”

“Almost?”

“Decided not to last minute.”

“And you didn’t tell anybody? Is that where you’ve been hiding out? We’ve been worried about you.”

Thunder rolled, closer now.

“Listen, Big Guy. I have to go take care of something. Let Friday get you home. Get comfortable. Have a drink and I’ll see you later tonight and explain everything.”

“Tony!” Bruce called, face scrunched up in confusion. No sign of green though. So, Tony took that as a win.

He rose into the air and eyed the flash of lightning along the horizon. “Sorry, Bruce. I gotta go. But I promise I’ll explain,” he called out before rocketing into the sky and away from the thunder. Tony knew it was a dick move to leave Bruce hanging along the road like that. But he had to get to Loki before Thor had an opportunity to charge in like a big, blond, bull moose in a China shop. 

When Loki first arrived, Tony had been certain that Thor was the right one to tell him about his past. But after getting to know Loki, or at least the Loki that existed now, Tony was positive that was a very bad idea. Thor had told Tony everything that had happened. He knew the story. Odin was a colossal dick for keeping Loki’s heritage from him, for fostering the monster under the bed stereotype of his own adopted son’s people. Thor admitted that Odin had treated Loki like a consolation prize at best, a political pawn at worst. Privately, Tony had also questioned what part Thor had played in Loki believing that a jump off the rainbow bridge had been his only option when faced with his true parentage and the crumbling relationships with his own father and brother. Tony didn’t pretend to know whether that had been Loki committing suicide or it had just been a jump into the safety net of his own magic. Either way, how must Loki have felt to have been there in the first place, his instincts screaming to run, to jump?

Thor could talk to Loki once he’d had time to absorb the broad strokes of his life. These were going to be bitter pills to swallow and Loki did not need Thor there to make it all about himself. Tony would give Loki the facts as he knew them and be there to answer questions as best as he could. That’s all he could do at this point. He hoped Jemma could help Loki find some answers into regaining his memories. But until then they couldn’t all dance around the fact that Loki was likely still technically a criminal on Earth, even though he hadn’t been a willing participant. They also couldn’t hide the fact that his homeworld had been through its own apocalypse. When Tony started mentally stacking all the revelations Loki would have to endure, he sighed. No one should have so much laid at their feet, much less all at once.

A clap of thunder boomed, reverberating in Tony’s chest, so close he could taste the sharp sizzle of ozone on his tongue.

“Boss, you have incom--”

Thor hit Tony like a freight train. They crashed and tumbled several hundred feet, a messy ball of sparks and plumes of dirt. Tony heaved a breath as they skidded to a stop. He looked up into the grinning face of Thor.

“Thor, you big, dumb golden retriever. What the hell was that?” Tony demanded, Tony popped open his face guard and sucked in lungsful of the cool, evening air. 

“Tony!” Thor boomed. “I was beginning to think I would not catch up to you.” He grinned as he got to his feet and then pulled Tony into a hug that surely would have crushed him had he not been wearing the suit. “I got your message. I apologize for the delay in responding. I forgot the phone in my rooms and by the time I remembered, the box that stores the messages was full.”

Thor let him go with an enthusiastic slap on the back. “You mentioned that you have something that belongs to me.”

Tony hesitated.

The smile slipped from Thor’s face. He took in Tony’s armor and narrowed his eyes. “What is it, Tony? Why do you flee?”

Tony didn’t want to fight with Thor. He just needed him to understand. He heaved a sigh.

“I do. And, it’s good news. But there’s also a giant complication. So, when I tell you, I need you to rein it in and hear me out. Can you do that?” 

Thor nodded. “Of course, you are my shield brother. I trust you with my life.”

Tony nodded. “And what about the life of your actual brother? Would you trust me with that?”

Silence held sway as Thor digested what Tony had said.

“Loki,” he breathed. “Loki’s life?”

Tony smiled. “Yeah. Loki. He’s alive.”

Thor smiled like the sun peeking through the clouds after a storm. But then just as quickly, his expression darkened.

“I have lost so much. Our home was destroyed, our people dead. And through all of this, he plays his games?” Thor growled and then roared, “I thought him dead!”

Thor gripped Stormbreaker. Tongues of lightning flickered around him and Tony could feel the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand on end.

“Loki WAS dead,” Tony said. But the god didn’t seem to be listening.

“Thor!” Tony yelled. “This is the part where you put your damn ax down, turn down the dial on your plasma ball, and listen to me!”

“I have been through this before, Stark. He has faked his death more than once. And each time I have grieved, only for him to appear again when he sees fit.”

“I get it... the boy who cried wolf,” Tony said. “Only this time, he actually was dead. Someone deposited him outside of a hospital with a broken neck and absolutely no memory of who he was. Friday located him through an interesting series of events, and I took him home. And I can tell you for certain, Thor, he isn’t faking. He’s alive by someone’s intervention. We’ve been able to figure that much out. But we have no idea who or why. The only thing I know for sure is that he woke up searching for someone he called The Mechanic. And I don’t know who else that could be but me.”

Tony told Thor the whole story of Loki’s discovery, Roxanne’s friendship and their encounter with S.H.I.E.L.D. as the Thunderer paced and listened.

“And this Roxanne, she is with him now? With Coulson?” Thor asked.

“Yes. They’ve become good friends. And, I have to admit, in the short time he’s been with me, I’ve grown to like him, Thor. He’s...I don’t know...different without the weight of his past. At first, I thought it best that we not tell him who he was or what had happened. But, the longer this goes on without him regaining his memories, I’m afraid that he’ll find out himself. And with everything that happened to him, all of that knowledge, pain, and betrayal crashing down without someone there to temper it, I’m afraid that might be too much for him.”

Thor winced and Tony would be lying if he didn’t admit he was just a little vindicated at Thor’s recognition of Loki’s pain. Thor had been responsible for some of it.

“Take me to him, Stark. I should be the one to tell him.”

“No.”

Thor looked up, met Tony’s gaze with a raised eyebrow.

“No?”

“No.” Tony was ready for a fight. But he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. “I think it’s best if I tell him. I was headed to do that now.”

“You? You thought him an enemy, he threw you from the window of your own tower and tried to destroy New York. Why should it be you? I am his brother. I remember Loki as a child before his mischievous nature turned so inexplicable dark. I am his brother. We have fought together. It was I who saw him fall from the Rainbow Bridge.”

“You were one of the reasons he fell!” Tony snapped and immediately regretted it when Thor’s eyes clouded and glowed with an unearthly light. Thor was on Tony in the next breath. He knocked him down, held him in place with the weight of his body.

“How dare you!” Thor bellowed.

“Think about it, Point Break. Think about everything that’s happened between you and Loki and tell me you won’t make it worse by walking him through his past? Tell me you won’t take the opportunity to make it about you, without Loki being armed with the benefit of his own point of view!”

Thor’s face fell into an expression of pain and regret. He pressed his lips together and got to his feet. Tony sat up slowly, back aching from Thor’s blow.

“You are right,” Thor said reluctantly. “Loki and I, we have had a tumultuous relationship. I saw how Father was with him. Even after I returned from my exile and saw how broken he’d become, I continued to blame him. I never chose to see things from his point of view.”

“I can’t say that’s something I’m good at either,” Tony said and patted Thor’s back.

Thor huffed in amusement. “Aye, I suppose we are similar in that aspect.”

They sat in silence a moment. Tony caught his breath and turned to Thor. “Listen. I was being honest when I said I’ve grown close to Loki. I want to help him to regain his memories. But I’m hoping, at the same time, to help him understand that he has people who care for him, despite what he’s done.”

Thor nodded. “At the end, before he made his final move on Thanos, he looked at me and said that the sun would shine on us again,” Thor said. “He called himself Odin’s son. I believed that we had made our peace before he died. It is my greatest wish that we continue in that spirit. He is my brother, no matter his origins. And I am overjoyed that he has been returned to me.”

Tony smiled. He was happy to hear him say that. “There was a time when the country knew me as the Merchant of Death. I made weapons, cogs of war that were responsible for countless lost lives. More lives than Loki has taken. And I came back from that. Now, I’m Iron Man. When people think of me, they think hero. There’s a road to redemption for everyone, Thor. They just have to choose to take it. The Loki I’ve grown close to the last couple days. He wants that.”

“You give wise counsel, Tony. I will do as you say. It gladdens me to know that Loki has found an ally in you.”

Tony looked away, hiding a smirk. He’d like for Loki to find more than just an ally. He would like Loki to find himself in Tony’s bed. But he wasn’t sure how Thor would react to the fact that Tony had more than just pure intentions toward Loki. He decided to let future Tony deal with that thought and got to his feet.

“Might I... might I be there afterward? I would see my brother as soon as possible,” Thor said as he stood.

“Of course,” Tony said. “Once I’ve brought him up to speed and he’s ready to talk. But in the meantime, I suggest you keep Loki’s miraculous resurrection to yourself. We’ll tell them eventually. But not yet.”

“Indeed. The others might not understand.”

“Right. For now, go back to the compound. I’ll get in touch when he’s ready to talk.”

“I look forward to hearing from you. My apologies for--”

“Don’t mention it,” Tony said and rose several feet into the air. “Just keep your phone charged and your box empty,” he said with a smile and a little salute before he took to the sky.

He heard Thor’s hearty laugh for just a moment before he was suddenly too far away.

~~~~~~~~~~

Loki had found the hospital to be an endless flow of bodies in a perpetual state of movement. It had made him feel a bit like a ship adrift at sea. High in Tony’s tower, he'd known a measure of peace and had been able to clear his mind, lose himself in what felt a bit like wonder at his circumstances. And last night, in Tony's bed, Loki had finally found a sweet and dreamless sleep as he could never remember having.

Now, as Jemma led him into an examination room, he couldn't help but feel lost again. She handed him a folded cloth and asked him to put it on while she stepped out of the room. He stood there, chilled, exposed. That could be explained by the fact that his entire backside was on display, but it was more than that.

He sat down on the paper-lined table and thought, not for the first time, that he wished Tony were there. He would make jokes and the entire affair would become lighthearted and fun, instead of rather clinical and cold. These people knew things about him that he himself did not. And they’d been ordered not to tell him. That was unnerving. Everyone was in on the joke but him. He understood why Tony had made that decision. He’d even agreed to it. But it was frustrating, nonetheless.

There was a knock at the door and Loki called out that he was ready. Jemma appeared in a white coat and a smile. A male nurse followed behind her and although he was dressed in pale blue scrubs, Loki got a distinct impression that he wasn’t what he appeared. He took in the man’s carefully sculpted muscles and wide chest, the way he stood, closed-mouthed and attentive at Jemma’s side.

Jemma put a hand on Loki’s arm, and he turned to face her. She had such a kind and open face. He wondered how she had managed to survive so long in an agency like S.H.I.E.L.D. Below the surface she must certainly be made of steel. Loki covered her hand with his own.

“You have nothing to fear from me, Jemma. I swear it,” Loki said.

Jemma’s smile was warm and friendly. “Coulson’s just being overprotective. Ignore him,” she said with a dismissive wave. The soldier, for clearly, he was more soldier than a nurse, stepped back but did not relax. Loki knew that he was strong. Tony had called him a wizard. Loki wondered again just what he had done to gain such distrust and fear.

Jemma rolled a stool over to the table and sat down with her laptop. She met his gaze with ease and began with a barrage of questions. “So, tell me what you remember, Loki. As far back as you can. Tell me about your dreams, visions, feelings, and emotions.”

He told her everything that had happened, everything he had dreamed, seen, heard and felt. Well, most everything. He didn’t feel it was necessary to disclose his burgeoning desire for Tony. That he kept to himself. She took notes, asked questions when she wanted to clarify a point; but mainly she listened.

When Loki was done, Jemma set her laptop aside. “Thank you for sharing that. How are you feeling now?”

Loki shrugged. “Physically I feel normal.”

“And mentally?”

He thought a moment. Ever since he’d woken in the hospital, he’d been under some sort of stress. “I suppose I feel anxiety, stress.”

“I’d expect so,” Jemma said softly. “Since the...snap, it’s been difficult on us all in one way or another. For you, not knowing who you are, you must feel rather vulnerable.”

The sting of tears made Loki look down at his hands. He wished the soldier would leave. Although he understood and could appreciate Coulson’s concern for his team.

“Quite. But Tony and Roxanne have been more than welcoming. Without them, I fear I might have ended up in the hands of the same people who activated her.” He forced a smile and looked up again, the threat of tears gone. “So, tell me, Doctor, what do you have planned for me today?” He was anxious to move past the question and answer stage of the day.

Jemma sat up straight, nodded almost to herself and grabbed her laptop again. “We’re going to run the gamut of tests -- blood pressure, EKG, Ultrasound, MRI, Angiogram. They will have done these tests at the hospital. So, it’s nothing you wouldn’t have gone through already. But we’d like to run them again to ensure accuracy. We’ll look at them through our lens of knowing your biology and determine whether there is anything medically wrong. We have also considered, given your powers, that this may be magical in nature. Even that should give off some sort of energy we could see.”

“I see,” Loki said, wondering about her comment. His biology. He didn't ask, assuming it was under Tony's information lockdown.

Magical powers. A wizard. This is crazy.

It was a long day. Loki felt like a lab rat, hooked up to this machine and that, poked, prodded and examined. He’d given them what felt like all of his blood, but Jemma assured him several times that it only amounted to a pint.

When Jemma had performed every test and had finally drawn the last vial of blood, she swabbed his arm and pressed something to his skin. He expected a bandage of some sort. Instead, there was a plastic sheet. Upon closer inspection he found tiny Iron Men looking back at him.

“Is this…”

“Coulson found them online and bought a ton of them as a joke,” she said. “Would you like to go visit with Roxanne now? You two can have dinner together.”

“That would be great actually,” he said as Jemma handed him the bin in which he’d placed his clothing.

“Get dressed and let me know when you’re ready. I’ll take you down to see her.”

~~~~~~~~

Director Coulson was with Roxanne when they arrived. He was standing outside of the pod laughing at something she said. Loki wasn’t surprised. She was just intrinsically good-hearted in a way that drew you in. She was sarcastic and blunt, tempered with an obvious desire to care for people. To find that she had charmed the stoic Director just make Loki smile.

Coulson stood up straight as they approached, his relaxed grin sliding into a smile of composed pleasantry.

“Jemma,” he said warmly. “Loki,” his greeting of the god several degrees cooler. “I was just checking up with our newest resident. She’s advancing wonderfully,” he said with another hint of a grin.

“Hey, Loki. How was your testing?” Roxanne asked.

Loki smiled at her. She'd been changed into something altogether new and was being kept in a little box while she grappled with superpowers and Roxanne wanted to talk about him. He couldn't help but smile.

_Typical_

“I'm fine, darling. How are you? Not too bored?”

“No. I've been practicing with my little box of toys,” she smiled. “Whatever gets me out of here as soon as possible. If it's control they want, that's what they're gonna get.”

Loki smiled at her, swelling with pride at the way she approached things. She was so pragmatic and determined. He had no doubt she would be out of there in no time.

"I thought they'd like to eat dinner together,” Jemma said with a kind smile.

“You mean like, in here?” Roxanne said, her tone full of hope.

The Director nodded slowly as he seemed to contemplate the request. He looked at Loki and a glint of some tamped down emotion bubbled up to the surface. “Well, if anyone would be safe, it would be you,” he murmured.

His lips stretched into a thin-lipped smile and Loki got the impression it wasn't without a bit of amusement.

“Okay. Just…be ready to exit quickly if something happens,” he said with a nod and then turned to Jemma. “I should go. I have some things to finish before Stark returns.” Then he nodded to Roxanne and Loki. “Have a pleasant dinner.”

“Director,” Roxanne said, and he paused, eyebrows raised.

“Could we...have a bit of privacy?” she asked and rolled her eyes to the right before meeting his gaze.”

Coulson huffed a laugh and if Loki didn't know better, he could have sworn the man was blushing. “Of course. Though for your safety the video feed out here will continue,” he said. “I disabled the audio.”

Roxanne smiled. “Thank you.”

“You're not a prisoner here, Roxanne. I hope you don’t feel like one. The cameras are only to make sure you and everyone else remain safe. We will be quite pleased when you are ready to be released.”

Loki narrowed his eyes, watching the way Coulson spoke to her. He was sincere. He didn't know how he knew that, but he did. Without a doubt, Phil Coulson spoke the truth. But there was more to it that.”

_How can I possibly know that for sure?_

But he did. He was absolutely positive.

Jemma let him into the pod and quickly closed the door behind him. Roxanne winced when the door opened. But as soon as the door closed, she grinned at Loki and hugged him tightly. He squeezed her back and patted her shoulders. He was so grateful for her friendship. He truly would have been lost if it hadn't been for her.

“It's so good to see you,” he said.

Roxanne stiffened in his arms and pulled back slowly, looking into his eyes with a puzzled expression.

He held both her hands in his. “What's wrong? he asked, suddenly worried.

She shook her head, tilted it from one side to the other and then look back at Loki. “I'm grateful for your friendship too,” she said softly.

Realization dawned. She'd heard him or at the very least, sensed his emotion. He raised an eyebrow, but she shook her head.

He nodded. She wasn't ready to share that little trick.

_Wise._

“Everything okay?” Jemma asked from the window.

Roxanne turned to her, nodded and grinned.

“We’re great. Thank you, Jemma. I needed some company.”

“Great! It's Mexican Fiesta night. I'll have someone throw together a mix of everything for you.”

“Sounds Great. I'm starving,” Roxanne said.

“Great,” Jemma said again and waved with an awkward laugh before turning to leave.

They waited until she was out of earshot and sat down at the table.

“Awkward. I take it this is new?”

Roxanne tapped her lips a moment and then pinched her lower lip between her fingers. She stared at something she wasn't really looking at for what seemed like forever before finally saying, “No, I don't think so.”

“When I first...when I first changed, I was overwhelmed with this humming noise. It was like I was trapped in a hive of bees. Since I've been in the pod, I don’t really hear it. But I feel like, if I reached for it, it might be there. But as soon as Jemma opened the door, I got a blast of it until the door closed. Then I just…heard you, plain as day. Not like your exact words but like this… pulse of _grateful for you...friend._ Does that make sense? 

Her fingers strayed to her lips again. Loki pulled her hand away and held it on the table before she could hurt herself.

“It does. Is there a reason you didn't want to share this with our hosts?”

“Because people don't like to know that someone can see into the realness of their thoughts. And although Tony trusts them and don't get me wrong, I trust Tony's instincts, you never know. It would be nice to confirm their trustworthiness, you know?”

Loki nodded. He trusted Tony too. Although he knew Coulson didn't like or trust him, the man had given Loki a safe place to stay while Tony saw to his business and had offered resources in helping to restore his memories.

However, Loki knew for certain he was hiding something.

“Perhaps you are wise to take this course of action,” he said. “I urge you to seek Tony's counsel when he returns. He knows the Director better than I.” 

The thought of Tony made Loki glance at the large digital display clock that hung on the wall outside of the pod.

_Still too early. Tony said not to expect him before nine._

He wondered whether Tony intended for them to stay there another night. And then a hungry, needy voice in the back of his mind wondered whether he'd be welcomed back into Tony's bed.

Roxanne squeaked. Loki looked at her, eyebrow raised to find her eyes wide, staring at him.

“What was that?” she asked.

“What was what?”

She reached for her lips again and Loki gripped her fingers.

“What was what?” he said again. “Stop it or you'll hurt yourself.”

“She looked down at her hand and then back at Loki

“I'm sorry, but you broadcasted it so loud,” she said and then whispered. “Tony's bed?”

A grin slowly spread across her face. Now it was her turn to grip his fingers. “I totally called that one,” she said, clearly pleased with herself.

“What? No. You misunderstand,” he said. “Not about my attraction to the man. He drips sex and I long for him to climb me like a tree. But that is not what happened.”

“What happened?”

Loki told her about the evening he'd shared with Tony, their conversation on the patio and in their room afterward.

“I sat on the side of his bed and I just...didn't want to go back to my own. I haven't been sleeping really. Every time I close my eyes I just...I can't sleep. I have these nightmares. In them I can’t really see anything, I can’t breathe. I can only feel the bones of my neck being crushed. I was loathed to return to that. And I hesitated. It was as though he knew. And he invited me to lie beside him. He touched me but not in a sexual way. It was a comfort. And I feel as though he may have found comfort as well. He grieves for his young protege and blames himself. I believe he might suffer a bit of sleeplessness as well.”

Roxanne's eyes were wet with tears when he looked back into them. She blinked. “The two of you might just break my heart,” she said and then looked down at her hands. She smiled mischievously and whispered, “Or provide endless material for the rub hub.”

“The what?” Loki asked as a young man approached the pod with plates of food.

“I have your dinners,” he said with a grin and popped open the slot before sliding them inside.

When he closed the seal, they took the trays and thanked him. He glanced at Loki from the corner of his eye, blushed and scampered away without saying anything else. 

Loki turned back to Roxanne as they settled into their dinner.

“The rub hub?”

“Never mind,” she laughed and waved away his question. “The more important question is…are you like…interested in him?”

Loki couldn't help but smile.

“That's a yes.”

“But I feel as though, without knowing who or even what I am, it would not be fair to…”

Loki looked down at his plate and stopped talking. He did not recognize a thing.

“How is it that food is the thing that absolutely escapes me?” he said. “What is this?”

Roxanne laughed. “It doesn't surprise me. I think you'll understand when you get more answers.” She pointed at the items on his plate one by one and told him what they were.

“This is a chicken burrito. This is a steak taco. These are refried beans with cheese. And this is the nectar of the gods - guacamole. 

Loki breathed in, savoring the aroma. His mouth watered. So, he took it as a good sign.

“Watch me,” Roxanne said. “There's an art to it.”

They spent the next half hour teaching Loki all about Mexican food. For the most part, he enjoyed it. But the alleged nectar the gods fell woefully short of Roxanne's advertisement.

“Now this,” Loki said around a mouthful of bliss. “This is truly godlike fare.”

Roxanne smiled. “That's a churro,” she said. “Just dough, cinnamon and sugar.”

“Simple and elegant. Perfect. But I don't think I can eat another bite.”

“Come on. Let's veg out in front of the tv,” Roxanne said, pushing away from the table.

“Okay. But I do not remember ever watching television. So, I will defer to your good judgment in my entertainment.”

Roxanne sat on the bed with her back against the wall, legs crossed in front of her. Loki sat beside her, realized his long legs weren't going to afford his comfort in that position and unceremoniously laid down with his head in Roxanne's lap.

She laughed. “You're such a cat.”

“I am tall. I do not fit in the other direction.”

Roxanne switched on the television and right away the icon for Netflix.

“Sweet. Okay. We are going to watch THE best show in existence, next to Doctor Who.”

“I will pretend as though I know who this Doctor is and just ask you to tell me about the show we are about to watch,” Loki said.

“How do two sexy as sin brothers driving across the country in a hot car, hunting monsters and saving people sound to you?”

“Sounds as though your Rub Hub runneth over.”

Roxanne blinked at him a moment before busting out into body-shaking laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony peeked through the window into Roxanne’s pod. He'd been told they ate dinner together and were relaxing. Roxanne sat cross-legged on her bed with her back against the wall. Loki lay with his head in her lap, eyes heavy-lidded but focused on the television bolted to the wall while Roxanne absentmindedly stroked his hair.

“Is this what you two do all day while I’m out Avengering?” Tony asked with a grin.

“Tony!” they cried in unison and stood up to greet him. Loki stretched and Tony found his gaze lingering on the wide strip of flat belly he exposed in doing so. He glanced up into Loki’s eyes only to find him staring back, a small smirk curling his tempting lips.

Tony smirked back. “How did you get Coulson to agree to let you in there?”

“He said if I couldn’t withstand her powers, no one could and granted me leave,” Loki said.

Tony grimaced. 

_Of course he did._

“Pretty sure he was throwing you under the bus to test her out,” Tony said. “Given your...ah...sturdy constitution.”

Loki pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “Does he really dislike me that much?”

Tony chuckled. “Let's just say you and he have had your differences.”

“How did it go today?” Roxanne asked.

“Good. Bruce should be back in town soon. I'll bring him over tomorrow and we'll discuss having you moved to the compound for the remainder of your training.”

“I just can't wait to get out of the pod. I mean it's nice not having to worry about hurting anyone but…. Oh! I made some progress today!”

Tony watched as, from her place near the window, she focused for a moment on the bed across the room. Plastic rattled a moment before a small white paper bag with grease stains rose into the air and moved toward her. Loki snagged it from mid-air as soon as it passed within his considerable arm's reach.

“Thank you,” he said with a sly grin before opening the bag and pulling out a churro.

Roxanne looked affronted but Tony could tell she was just playing. She ripped off the other end of his churro and popped it in her mouth. They smiled at each other before turning back to Tony. He couldn't help but grin back at them.

“Way to go, Matilda!” he said earning a confused look from Loki and an eye roll from Roxanne.

“Matilda? That's what you're going with?”

Tony shrugged. “Everyone likes that movie. Don't worry, you can choose your own superhero name.”

When Roxanne's eyes lit up, he laughed. “You're totally going to be on the Avengers too. But only as long as you're on team Iron Man. Team Capcicle is boring and doesn't have cool gadgets like we do.”

“Oh yeah,” Roxanne said, growing serious. “Did you...did you see him?”

“Yeah. It's all fine. We talked, we bonded.”

“Really?”

Tony huffed. “Not exactly. But we didn't try to kill each other so...progress. Listen, I need to pull Loki away for a little while. Are you gonna be okay on your own for a couple hours?”

Roxanne nodded. “Yeah, I could use some sleep actually,” she said but then looked back at Tony with a frown. “Is everything okay?”

Loki raised an eyebrow and Tony nodded.

“Yeah...yeah, it’s fine. It's just, Loki had some family drop in. And I’ve made the executive decision that said family should not be the one to bring him up to speed.”

“So, you're going to--”

“Yep.”

Roxanne nodded and turned to Loki. She took his hand and pulled him into a hug. She was so small Loki seemed to envelop her.

“Listen, I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk. You know where to find me,” she said and gestured around her pod. Tony smiled. He really liked Roxanne. She was loyal and had such a big heart. He hadn't known her long, but he trusted her. And that wasn't an easy thing to earn from him.

Loki pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Thank you, Roxanne. For everything. I'll talk to you talk tomorrow. Perhaps we can watch more of this Supernatural program too?”

She smiled. “I knew you'd like it.”

“How could I not? And those brothers are…”

Loki made a yummy noise.

_A fucking yummy noise! Jesus._

They shared a stupid grin and Tony rolled his eyes.

_Well, at least now I know for sure he likes boys._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read, hit that kudos button or taken the time to comment. It means so much and helps feed the muses.


	9. Show Me Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Show and tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my amazing Beta Goddesses - LokiismyfavouriteAvenger & Dawn. <3

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

Tony fished his phone from his pocket and queued up a few files. As soon as Tony left Thor, the god had been blowing up his phone. He’d been sharing ideas, stories, points to remember and most helpful, a beautiful illustration.

**Thunderstruck:** I KNOW my brother, Stark. Start here. He will connect to this. Tony had used the illustration to make a quick visual to share with Loki. He hoped Thor was right.

Thor also sent him a link to a webpage with information.

**Thunderstruck:** This is all correct. You may use this information.

**Iamironman:** How did you get all this information? How are you even getting on the internet?

Thor had never been what you might call tech savvy.

**Thunderstruck:** The Asgardian Tourism Board has a website now.

Tony glanced at the URL. “www.goasgard.com. Well, fuck.” Tony laughed and shook his head. He flipped over to the other group of messages he'd missed.

**MrMeanGreen:** Tony...I made it to the tower. Friday let me into my floor. It's furnished. Why didn't you tell me you kept the tower?

**MrMeanGreen:** Who keeps changing my username to MrMeanGreen? Is that supposed to be like Mr. Green Jeans from Captain Kangaroo? 

Bruce Banner has changed his screen name to BBanner

**MrMeanGreen:** There

**MrMeanGreen:** wtf

**MrMeanGreen:** Tony, you're an ass.

**MrMeanGreen:** Whatever. Friday says you're not here. So, I'm going to sleep. Thanks for the stocked fridge. Wasn't expecting that. But you better be here in the morning to explain what's going on.

Tony smiled down at his screen. He'd programmed Friday to override Bruce's chosen screen names and it never got old.

“What's so funny?” Loki asked, padding into the kitchen on bare feet. Tony had urged Loki to take some time and get comfortable after staying overnight with the Shady Bunch and he had wasted no time heading for the shower. Tony watched him approach with open admiration. His hair was still wet, and he'd changed into a pair of comfortable pajamas. Tony didn't want to hide his attraction. He didn't really think he was capable. He just wasn't trying to make a move yet. But he couldn't help but love the look Loki got when he realized he was being admired. It was equal parts pleased, entitled, challenged, and confused.

“I enjoy fucking with people,” Tony said with a shrug. “Some people are easier to fuck with.”

Loki smiled and took a seat at the bar. Tony poured him a whiskey.

“I'm afraid you're going to need this,” Tony said with a smirk.

Loki stared at it a moment before throwing back the shot. He slid the glass over for another. Tony huffed a laugh and took a shot of his own before pouring them each a double.

“I admit I'm anxious to begin,” Loki said.

Tony grimaced as he sipped his whiskey and gestured for Loki to follow him.

“Come on. This is a story for in a comfy seat,” Tony said. “And I have the comfiest seats over here.”

Loki followed him to the cozy sitting area in front of the fireplace and curled up at one end of the small sofa. Tony chose to sit beside him on the sofa instead of the chair. He turned, knee bent, grazing Loki's feet as he turned to face him. Loki wiggled his toes deeper under Tony's knee and smiled to himself before looking up.

“Tony. I know this must be difficult for you. If you do not wish…”

“See that's the thing,” Tony interrupted, resting his arm on the black of the sofa. “I really do not wish. And not because it’s not my job or I don't want to be involved in your life. It's quite the opposite actually. I don't want to tell you these things because I’ve grown to like you. And I was hoping maybe you liked me too and Jesus this sounds like we're in middle school. My point...and I do have one, is that a lot of what I'm about to tell you sucks. And I'm sorry for that. Some of it's pretty fucking awesome though. And I'm hoping maybe that by focusing on the awesome I can help mitigate the damage that was done to you when you lived this story the first time.” 

Loki smiled. “I like you too, Tony,” he said softly. “I realize you're about to tell me things I probably don't want to hear. I've gathered that I've done things…” He stopped abruptly and turned his face away.

Tony laid his hand on Loki's knee. “Look. I'm gonna tell you the facts that I know to be true. I'm not gonna sugar coat them. And I'm not gonna blame or make excuses for you or the other parties involved. Afterward, when you're ready, we'll discuss motives and emotions okay? Just listen to the facts first...all of them…before you allow yourself to start pulling everything apart and examining it.”

Loki nodded and laid his hand over Tony's, squeezed it before letting go.

~~~~~~~~~

“Okay,” Tony said, pressing buttons on his phone. “It's time for a little show and tell.”

Loki gasped; his eyes wide as motes of light spun up from a hologram on Tony's phone. They swirled together and coalesced into the form of a towering tree that appeared to grow right from Tony's phone. The branches slithered upward in gnarled tendrils. Leaves popped from the branches in a million shades of green.

Seven orbs appeared at the tips of the tree branches, each faintly glowing with colors that swirled and sparkled. The center of the tree trunk swelled into another orb and at the top of the tree was a golden disk.

“It’s it's,” Loki whispered, eyes suddenly burning with tears, chest tight with some unidentifiable emotion.

_Not grief or sadness. Is it wonder? Reverence?_

Overcome, he reached out to touch the little motes of light and gasped in delight and surprise when a tiny squirrel ran up the trunk of the tree and into the branches.

He narrowed his eyes; a name was at the edge of his grasp. He knew this tree; it was a fundamental part of his being.

“You recognize it?” Tony asked softly, his tone echoing the emotion that consumed Loki.

“I can't remember,” Loki said. “I can feel it; I know this tree. But I cannot tell you what it is, only that it means something to me.”

Tony nodded. “This is Yggdrasil,” Tony said. “The World Tee.”

“Yggdrasil,” Loki whispered. A tear slipped down his cheek as the enormity of that unnamed emotion seemed to seep into his soul.

“Do you know anything about Norse mythology?” Tony asked.

Loki shook his head. “I do not,” he said.

“Okay so, there are people on Earth whose ancestors believed in gods. The Norse specifically believed in certain gods because the people who lived here, on Asgard,” Tony paused to point to the golden disk at the top of the tree. When he touched it, a golden palace sprung from the disk. “went to visit the people here on Midgard, or Earth,” Tony touched the orb in the center of the tree, which expanded and started to spin.

“The Asgardians shared some of their knowledge with the Midgardians who saw all their power and magic and took them for gods. Instead of learning from them, they build a religion.”

Loki nodded. He understood how that could happen.

“But anyway, back to the tree. It's a representation of the connectivity of nine separate realms. These realms are planets or really, clusters of planets that are connected by a flow of energy, each one feeding into the other.” Tony traced the branches, demonstrating.

“They all have their own ecosystems, people, and resources. Like I said this is Asgard, home of the Aesir who have kind of a modern medieval feudal system thing going on - Kings, Queens, subjects, you get the picture. Vanaheim is a different realm, but kinda the same deal. Jotunheim, this is where the Frost Giants live. Alfheim has light elves; Svartalfheim is dark elves. Nidavellir has dwarves which by the way, are not short and jolly as fantasy and sci might have you believe. Muspelheim has fire demons. Niffleheim is for the souls of dead, both dishonored and...well… neutral. The souls of the honored dead go to Valhalla which is apparently in Asgard? I don't know, I'm unclear about how that works. Maybe you can tell me when you regain your memories. Regardless...the important part is, they're all connected.”

Tony drew a breath and Loki looked away from the tree to meet his gaze. His eyes were so full of concern that for a moment Loki thought he might drown in their warm chocolate depths. So far, he’d followed this tale. And he thought he knew where it might be headed. But Tony surprised him when he pointed to the swirling blue planet.

“You were born here,” Tony said. “A prince of Jotunheim and son of Laufey, their king. But you were a child of war, born in the midst of battle. And somehow you ended up lost, alone and dying. I don't really know if anyone still alive knows why or how, but there you were.”

“Jotunheim was at war with the Aesir. And I can't remember why... something about the Jotuns attacking Earth and treaties. Whatever, it was war. It was stupid. They worked it out. Mostly. Afterward... and I don't know if he heard you crying or just came upon you. Either way, Odin, The King of Aesir found you. And he knew right away you were Jotun. Thor tells me your people are blue which I seriously can’t wait to see. You’re ridiculously handsome as an Aesir, I can’t imagine how exotic you’ll look with blue skin.”

Loki's mind was reeling. He’d already thought perhaps he wasn’t human. But, was Tony saying that he was a frost giant? He glanced down at his fingers, remembering the way they had turned color - blue.

“My fingers were blue,” he said almost to himself. But then he shook his head and focused on Tony. “So, I am Jotun? A frost giant?”

Tony took one of Loki's hands and squeezed. “Yep. But you are also a shapeshifter. I don't know if that's a Jotun thing or if you have other races in your bloodline. But you could shapeshift as a baby. I know you studied magic and are extremely powerful. You can cast stunning illusions and change into other forms, which is so fucking cool.” Tony grinned and Loki couldn't help but smile at Tony’s praise and his assessment of his powers. Heat crept into his cheeks.

“Odin said that as soon as he picked you up you changed color to match his own. He took you back to Asgard and raised you as his son - a prince of Asgard. Your mother was Frigga, and your brother is Thor. But Odin never told you that you were adopted. He let you believe that you were Aesir”

Tony paused. Loki had so many questions, so many why's and hows. But before Loki could dwell on them too long, Tony forged ahead. He explained about Aesir society and the rampant prejudices that plagued the people, which included Frost Giants, Homophobia and men who study magic instead of pursuing the path of the warrior. 

“From what Thor tells me Jotuns were feared on Asgard, the Aesir regarded them as monsters.”

Loki felt his chest tighten.

How could Odin raise a Jotun son as his own? How could he not tell me and his people of my heritage and use it as an opportunity to understand and accept another race?

Tony briefly explained Norse Mythology. Apparently, Loki was the god of mischief, chaos, and lies. His brother Thor was the god of thunder.

“You can read all the myths. I'm told some are true. Some are bullshit and some are half-truths taken out of context. Thor said you liked to play pranks and have an outside of the box way at looking at problems. You can tell when someone is lying and they called you Silvertongue from a very young age because you have a way with people, charming...slick. You'd probably make a very good PR person if you want to get into that once we clear up the legalities of your return, let me know. I know a great firm. Or you can work for me. I’m sure Pepper would be happy to have someone else cleaning up the messes I leave behind.”

For some reason that made Loki smile. 

_That explains why I could tell that Director Coulson was lying._

Tony talked about his relationship with Odin and the ongoing competitive nature of his relationship with Thor. He’d committed patricide, killed Laufey in a misguided attempt at gaining Odin's favor. And then everything had just devolved into the moment Loki fell from the Bifrost.

Time seemed to speed up, as in a haze of emotion Loki listened to the tragedy that was his life - the torture by Thanos, mind control, murder. Silent tears fell down his cheeks as he watched a short video of the battle of New York. Tony showed him the security footage of their fight in the very room in which they sat. The Loki in the video looked pale and haggard with dark circles under his eyes. 

_Were my eyes...blue? Of course. I'd been under Thanos’ influence too._

_Right??_

Loki gasped when he pushed Tony through the window. Tony squeezed his hand, grounding him to the present as they watched the rest of the events unfold. Tony rose in his armor, blasted Loki in the chest. Later he saw the moment he’d been freed from Thanos. The Hulk had tossed him around like a rag doll. And as he lay there, embedded in the floor, Loki saw his eyes shift to green.

When the dark elves killed his mother, faking his death, Odin's death on the precipice in Norway, his sister, Sakaar, the destruction of Asgard and finally, his own death at the hand of Thanos - Tony laid each of these events out end to end as succinctly as possible, all the while holding his hand, thumb moving steadily across his skin. Loki stared at the fire, trying to imagine the flames consuming his home.

_I can't even remember what home looks like. Asgard, Jotunheim, both now consumed by the elements - fire and ice._

When Tony fell silent, Loki was at a loss for words. His heart ached; head pounded with unshed emotion. How does one come to grips with such a life? He’d made such horrible decisions. He’d let his pride bring him to the edge of the world. He'd flung himself into a freefall that hadn't really stopped until he'd landed at the hospital, devoid of the pain and emotional baggage he'd been saddled with all his life.

“Thank you, Tony. I realize that could not have been easy,” Loki said.

“I just hope it helps you in some way.”

Loki heaved a breath. “I... you have given me much to consider. Would you mind terribly if I had some time alone?”

Loki turned to look at Tony. He looked tired, drawn out. Loki glanced at the clock. They'd been talking more than two hours and it was already after 1:00 AM.

Loki laid a palm on Tony’s cheek. “You should get some rest.”

“Friday?”

“Yes, Loki?” 

“Please ensure Tony does not try to work all night.”

“Yes, Sir. Boss, Sleeping Beauty protocol is in effect until 6:00 AM.”

Loki raised an eyebrow as Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yes, dear,” he moaned.

“Sleeping Beauty?”

“The fairy tale?” 

Loki shook his head. 

“Basically, she's locked me out of the lab until 6 AM so I'm not tempted to work.”

Loki smiled fondly. “Splendid. Then I'll retire. Perhaps...we could talk more in the morning?”

Tony nodded. “Anything you need, Lo. I'm here for you. We need to meet with Bruce tomorrow, and we'll go back and visit Roxanne. Otherwise, we're free.”

Loki stood up, took up his empty glass to the kitchen and paused, remembering something Tony had said.

“My brother, Thor. He knows I've returned?” Loki asked.

Tony was behind him with his own glass.

“Yes. I'll hold him off until you're ready. But he’s very anxious to see you.”

Loki nodded. He stood by the island, feeling a little lost. Part of him wanted to see Thor. And the other, larger part of him was terrified. 

“Hey,” Tony said, gripping Loki's shoulder. “You'll be alright. Just don't try and swallow it all at once. Take it in bites. You'll get there. And you're not alone. Right?”

Loki smiled, the weight of Tony's friendship settling over him like a warm blanket. He couldn't be certain; couldn't remember the life he'd lived. But something told him he'd never really had the support or friendship like Tony and Roxanne had extended to him.

_I vow never to sully these relationships which I've been gifted. I will do everything in my power to see that Thanos is defeated and their friends are returned. I owe them this for the destruction I brought to their lives._

Tony surprised him with a hug. It was quick, solid, and altogether wonderful. Loki closed his eyes, leaned his cheek against Tony's hair and sighed with contentment. Tony released him eventually with a squeeze of his hand. For a moment he thought Tony might kiss him. It was fleeting but left Loki with an odd sort of ache he wasn’t sure he ever wanted rid of.

“Go get some rest,” Tony said softly. “If you need anything, including me, just ask Fri.”

“I will. Thank you, Tony.”

Alone in his room, Loki sat on the edge of his bed and stared out the window. He wondered whether the skyline had changed since the attack on New York.

“Friday?”

“Yes, Loki?”

“Could you show me…could you show me more of the news reports for the battle?

“Are you certain, Sir?” Friday responded. And he wasn’t surprised to hear the concern in her voice, empathy even. She was Tony’s creation, after all.

“Yes,” Loki said. “Show me everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm so anxious to hear your thoughts. How did Tony do?


	10. Broken Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my amazing Beta Goddesses - LokiismyfavouriteAvenger & Dawn. <3

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

Tony had always been a light sleeper. When he was taken hostage, wired to a car battery and forced to make weapons for a terrorist, it just got worse. And now, after the snap, sleep was like buried treasure. So, when the sound of breaking glass echoed down the hallway, Tony was immediately awake. He sat up, heart beating faster as he waited for confirmation that the noise hadn't just leaked from his nightmare.

Another crash broke the silence. Tony crawled out of bed and was halfway toward Loki's room when a gut-wrenching sob brought him to a screeching halt.

“Oh, Loki,” Tony whispered, tears in his eyes. That was the sound of heartache, of loss. The icy press of fear propelled him forward. Loki's door was closed and when he tried the knob it was locked.

“Friday, what's going on in there?”

“Loki’s heart rate is elevated. He appears to be having a panic attack.

Tony could write a book on panic attacks.

“Let me in,” Tony said.

“Sorry I can't do that, Boss. In his current state of agitation, the probability of him injuring you is--”

“Friday, open the goddamn door - code Alpha zero whiskey.” Tony cut her off. She opened the door without further comment.

Every light in the room was on. But there was no sign of Loki. Tony entered slowly, keeping his back to the door. He touched the nanite housing unit to assure himself it was still there.

“Loki?” Tony kept his voice soft, soothing. “It's just Tony.”

There was no answer.

Tony walked around the bed and found the other side clear of Norse gods or shattered glass.

Tony looked up at the closed bathroom door and bit his lip. Loki had to be in there.

Tony knocked gently.

“Loki”?

“Please, leave me alone.” Loki sounded absolutely miserable. Tony's heart clenched in sympathy. He knew what it was like when the blanks were filled in with ugly things, things you didn't want to know, or think were possible.

Tony opened the door and bit back a gasp. The mirror that had taken up the wall behind the double sink had been smashed to pieces and lay all over the floor along with the bottles and towels that had been on the counter.

 _Don't even mention it. It's not a big deal._

Loki stood at the center of the destruction, naked, knuckles bloody, body bowed as he leaned toward the counter.

“Leave me,” Loki said.

“Sorry, pal, you know I can't do that,” Tony said and began to pick his way through the glass, wincing when the shards bit into his bare feet.

Loki turned; face contorted with rage. His eyes narrowed on Tony.

“Infuriating Mortal,” Loki said, stalking through the glass. Tony gasped as he watched Loki approach. Something had happened, something changed.

_This is it. The old Loki. I'm about to take flight._

Just as Tony was ready to tap his chest to call forward the suit, Loki picked up him up bridal style and stalked into the bedroom. He deposited Tony on the bed and went to his knees.

“I cannot allow you to hurt yourself because I could not control my temper,” he muttered. Tony winced, staring, confused as Loki pulled several shards of glass from his feet.

“Its fine, Loki, I'm fine. We'll deal with the wounds later,” Tony said softly.

Loki paused and suddenly all the rage and purpose seemed to drain away. He sat down on the floor at Tony's side with his back to the bed and his knees pulled up to his chin.

Tony slid down to the floor, close enough to feel Loki tremble. All he wanted to do was pull Loki into his arms, but he didn't touch him, not yet.

_I should never have left him alone._

“So, can you tell me what happened? Tony asked, trying to maintain a casual tone.

“You should go,” Loki murmured. “I am... I cannot.”

“Loki, I said I was here for you. That means I'm here for the ugly stuff too. Trust me when I tell you I’ve been exactly where you are. I could literally write a book about panic attacks.

Loki sighed, bent to put his head between his knees.

“I couldn't sleep. So, I thought I might shower,” Loki said finally. “I was standing in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth...thinking… when all of a sudden, it was like, my mind cracked open. Sharp, stabbing pain was followed by a flood of images and emotions.” Loki shook his head.

“I seem to have retained some of them.” Loki's voice cracked on a sob. “Some of my earlier memories, little glimpses into my life, like pieces to a puzzle. I can recall my mother, standing in a field smiling at me, Father's room, sitting at his feet listening to stories before bed. But there were other things. I...I saw myself in the mirror as the memories fell into place and I...I changed.”

“Changed how?”

Loki hitched a breath, scrubbed his face of the tears that had been falling silently as he spoke.

“I believe I changed into my Jotun form. And with it came an overwhelming sense of self-hatred. Or at least, the memory of that emotion.”

Tony couldn't take it anymore. He reached out to touch Loki's arm, hand curling around the god's bicep.

Loki’s lips twitched into a little smile. “I broke the mirror in a moment of rage but as I stood there, I remembered your words and most importantly how they made me feel,” Loki said. He sighed and closed his eyes, leaned his head onto Tony's shoulder. “I thank you for that, for your perspective.”

Tony put his arm around Loki's shoulders, and they sat that way in companionable silence for a few moments before Tony finally asked what he'd been dying to ask.

“Can I... will you show me?” He asked softly. He didn't want to spook Loki.

“I do not know if I can. The change was involuntary. And although I have memories of training, they are incomplete. But I will try...for you.”

Loki sat up and closed his eyes. For a few moments he was silent and then he sighed and shook his head.

“It’s okay,” Tony said. “You'll get there. Just remember what I said, okay? I guarantee that you'll be amazing in whatever form you choose.”

Loki leaned into Tony again. “I'm sorry for your mirror,” he said.

“Don't worry about it. I didn't like it anyway. I was thinking if smashing it up myself if not for the horrible bad luck it would have brought me.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Pfft. I've never broken a mirror in my life, and I've managed to lose half the living creatures on Earth, including the kid I would have given my life to protect,” Tony said. “So, no. I think you're good.”

Loki huffed a laugh.

“You'll get him back,” Loki said. “And I'll help you. I just have to put back all the pieces of my memories.”

“And I am gonna help you do that. Good thing Roxanne posted your picture on the internet for Friday to find. Where would we be?”

“Indeed,” Loki said. “Tony, your feet. Where are your bandages?”

Tony looked down and realized he would need to replace more than just the mirror in this guest suite. He'd left bloody footprints all over the carpet.

“Loki, there's a first aid kit under the sink in the kitchen,” Friday said. And if Tony didn't know better, he'd say that statement smacked with I told you so.

“Thank you, Friday,” Loki said and then stood up, reminding Tony that the god was still gloriously naked. From his place on the floor Tony could see every long, lean, beautifully sculpted inch and he couldn't help but stare up in adoration. Loki's body was made to be worshiped and if he would only turn around, Tony would be happy to spend some time on his knees.

Tony's gaze traveled up firm thighs, abs and chest to find that Loki was looking down at him, with the strangest expression. 

_Ah fuck, I crossed a line._

But then Loki's eyes darkened, and he reached down to cup Tony's cheek. The corner of his generous mouth quirked up, spread into a smirk that ripped up any lingering doubt as to Loki's intentions. Loki knew exactly what Tony had been thinking.

“I'll be right back,” Loki purred, fingertips tracing Tony's jaw before he turned to leave.

Tony released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Warmth pooled low in his belly. The room seemed empty suddenly, colder. And he wondered about Loki's Frost Giant nature. Loki was always so warm. Thor told him that a Frost Giant's touch could freeze a limb or even kill. But Loki's touch--. 

“Up on the bed,” Loki ordered as he walked back into the room. Tony complied as Loki dug through the first aid kit and then got to his knees.

_Should I be worried that I kinda like it when he’s bossy?_

Loki worked quickly, removing the glass and then cleaning the wounds. “The wounds aren't too deep,” he said as he examined them closely. The little packets in the kit, what are they? Medicines?”

Tony tore his gaze away from the god at his feet and rifled through the container. He pulled out a few packets and handed them to Loki.

“This is an antibiotic cream with a pain-numbing agent. Should prevent germs from spreading,” Tony said, ripping the first one open to show Loki how.

Loki squirted some out on his finger and grimaced before spreading it on the cuts. After a while, he paused and smiled to himself. “I ...I can remember collecting and milling herbs from my mother's garden,” Loki said softly. “She showed me how to make salves and healing medicines, simple potions. It was my favorite time of day because Thor didn't want to help. He preferred to wage battle in the courtyard with the other boys. Those moments with my mother were just for me. We would spend hours together as she taught me incantations to boost or blend the plant's natural properties.” Loki wrapped the self-adhesive bandage around Tony's foot. His grin widened as he looked up to meet Tony's gaze. There were fresh tears in his eyes as he spoke.

“I do not know how to thank you for helping me win back that memory. For all the things you told me, all the horrors I have suffered, I would recall them all just to regain more of my mother.” He looked around at the glass and bloody footprints. “But I am truly sorry for the mess.”

Tony waved away the concern. “Don't worry. That's why I have minions,” he said and reached for Loki's hand. “I'm just glad you've had a breakthrough. If some mirrors must be sacrificed in the meantime. So be it.”

Loki huffed a laugh and then pushed a few errant strands of Tony's hair into place. “You really are an extraordinary man, Tony Stark,” he said.

There was a time when Tony would have brushed that off, agreed and made a smart-ass quip. But something in Loki's tone told him to take this seriously.

_Do not do what you always do. Do not fuck this up. Let him in._

Tony tugged Loki's hand, pulled him onto the bed.

“May I?” He asked, indicating the blood that had crusted on Loki's knuckles.

Loki nodded and watched quietly as Tony took care of him. The wounds seemed free of glass, so Tony just cleaned them up and applied a little cream. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to Loki's fingers but didn't relinquish his hand.

“Come on,” he said, pulling Loki to his feet.

“To where?”

Tony took a step and winced. Before he could argue, Loki lifted him into his arms.

“My savior,” Tony said. “You can't sleep in here. It's a mess. Sleep in my room. It has a glass free shower and the added benefit of me.”

Loki smirked, the one that made Tony want to get down on his knees.

“The amenities are certainly preferable to this room,” Loki said, with a glance at the blood on the floor.

“I hope so,” Tony laughed, and Loki carried him through the door. “We aim to please at Hotel de Stark,” Tony said.

~~~~~~~~~~

Loki's bedroom had been luxurious, with sumptuous cream carpet and a mattress that felt like a cloud. But Tony's bedroom was something out of a magazine. The room was done in shades of plum and accented here and there with black and gold. It was huge, with a bed that looked like two of the one Loki had been given. He noted that Tony slept on the right side, the comforter had been pushed aside, so he sat Tony in that spot and pulled the comforter up over his legs.

“Thanks, Lo,” Tony said. “Showers in there, if you still want to.”

Loki nodded his thanks and headed toward the bathroom, checking out the rest of Tony's bedroom on his way. One whole wall was a window with what looked to be a balcony beyond it. On another wall was the largest television screen Loki had ever seen. 

Through the archway Tony had indicated, Loki could see the bathroom. There was a cavernous stone shower room with a bathtub and bench inside it. This was walled off by a glass door. Outside that was a vanity with two sinks and another door that Loki assumed was for the toilet. After finding a clean towel in a basket on the vanity, Loki made a beeline for the shower.

There were more knobs and settings in Tony's shower and Loki tried every single one of them. In the end, he found he preferred the one that directed the water to fall from the ceiling like rain. He stood beneath it, allowing the water to soothe his nerves. He touched each new memory, probing to see if it sparked more. Sometimes it did, expanding just a little bit to show more of the puzzle, filling in the emptiness with colors - some of them dark and sinister, some of them vibrant and glorious.

Loki yawned and stretched as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair, something spicy, sweet, and completely Tony. Loki could admit that he was completely enamored of the man. He smiled, thinking about the way Tony had looked him with lust in his heavy-lidded gaze. Loki closed his eyes, remembered the soft press of Tony's lips to his fingers. Tony was very tactile and touched him when they talked. Loki loved it.

Eventually, Loki turned off the shower and toweled himself dry. He considered going back to his bedroom to grab some clothes. Tony clearly had no issue with him being naked, in fact, he seemed to like it. And Loki couldn't deny that when they'd slept together in the tiny bed at the S.H.I.E.L.D facility, he'd longed to feel Tony's bare skin against his own. But Tony wore clothes to bed. Perhaps he might think it strange for Loki to assume it was acceptable to sleep naked.

Deciding to play it safe, Loki wrapped his towel around his waist, made sure the bathroom was in order, and then turned out the light. When he walked into the bedroom, he paused, taking in the scenery. The huge window had turned into a scene you might find at the bottom of the ocean with plant life and fish darting here and there. The undulating water and fish cast hypnotic shadows on the wall and high ceiling and the sound of the ocean could be heard through unseen speakers.

Loki smiled and turn toward the bed to find that Tony was on his side facing away from him. He didn’t want to wake him, so Loki tried to make a quiet escape.

“Where ya goin'?” Tony murmured.

“To get clothing for bed.”

Tony hummed. “You can if you want. But you don't need them. Come to bed, Lo.”

Heat raced through Loki's body, throbbed in time with his heartbeat. He removed the towel and replaced it in the bathroom and then crawled into bed, which was large enough for four. It wasn't necessary to be pressed together like before. But Tony rolled to the center of the bed and pulled him close, stroked callused hands over his waist and back. He bit back a moan when he realized that Tony was naked too.

“This okay?” Tony whispered softly.

“Yes, I,” he sighed in pleasure when Tony ran his fingers through his hair. “I quite like it when you touch me like that.”

“Hmmm, Good thing I quite like to touch you then. Feel free to do the same.”

Loki let out a nervous laugh, reached out to run his fingers down Tony's thigh.

“I like your fish,” Loki said looking up at the ceiling.

“Helps me sleep,” Tony said. He moved up on his elbow, curled a lock of Loki's hair around his finger before leaning down to press a soft kiss to Loki's forehead and cheek. Tony gently rubbed his lips along his jawline.

“I've wanted this mouth from the moment you looked up at me in the pool, Tony admitted, rubbing his thumb along the seam of Loki's lips. 

“Then take it,” Loki said.

Tony's hungry gaze was all-consuming, drawing Loki closer until finally, Tony took his mouth with soft, seductive nibbles. Loki opened for him, moaned when Tony sucked his tongue.

“Tony,” Loki whispered as Tony pressed a trail of open-mouthed kisses down his neck and then sucked gently on his earlobe.

Loki turned his head to give Tony better access and hummed contentedly. He was so gentle, so sweet. Loki was painfully hard, limbs heavy with arousal and exhaustion. He closed his eyes, and without warning, he yawned.

Tony pulled back and Loki's eyes snapped open. For a moment Loki thought he would be offended. But Tony was smiling. “I think you might need sleep more than kisses.”

“Or both,” Loki murmured, reaching up to run his fingers through Tony's hair. He tugged just a little, smiled when Tony hitched a breath. He pulled him down for another kiss, thrilled when Tony opened for him, shifted his body to press his cock against Loki’s hip. Tony took control, tipping Loki’s head to deepen the kiss. Tony drew his palm up Loki’s thigh, touch feather light and teasing until he grasped his cock, circling it in his warm grip. He groaned into Tony’s mouth rocked his hips with each slow stroke. He closed his eyes and immediately felt the exhaustion pull at his consciousness again. He twitched awake, eyes snapping open.

“It's alright. Sweetheart,” Tony chuckled, “You've had a long day.”

Loki groaned when Tony pulled his hand away. “But—”

“Shh, I know,” Tony said, peppering his neck with little kisses that made Loki roll his hips in need. “Tomorrow.”

Tony’s voice was firm, so Loki nodded, melted into Tony’s embrace. He felt so warm and safe. Lulled by Tony's whispered words of encouragement and the comforting slide of his fingers trailing up and down his spine, Loki succumbed to sleep. He wanted more, so much more. But he just couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony rubbed his nose through Loki’s hair, caressed his back until he felt Loki slip into the deep and even breathing of someone who was truly asleep. He sighed contentedly, ignoring his own hard-on in favor of holding Loki. There would time enough for that later. He hadn’t been sure how all these revelations would go. The conversation could have gone sideways at any juncture. But on the whole, Tony counted it a win.

The look on Loki’s face as he recalled the times he’d spent with his mother in her garden, was worth a million cuts on his feet. Tony smiled, kissed Loki’s forehead and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him under too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who takes the time to comment and kudos. It's like booze for my muses. ❤💚


	11. Crumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! It's been too long since I have updated. I got caught up in my Tony/Peter fic and then went on vacation. But I'm back in the swing. And I'm hoping the content of this chapter makes up for the fact that it's shorter than usual.
> 
> Thank you as always to my amazing Beta Goddesses - LokiismyfavouriteAvenger & Dawn. <3 for holding my hand and getting out the whip as needed. But sorry...after beta...I like... changed some things. So readers note, all errors are my own because even when it's done I can't keep my grubby paws off of it. =)

[](https://imgur.com/G6UvlLK)

Loki awoke to the relentless drum of rain. He watched through a small gap between the covers as fat drops beat the window and trickled down the glass. He felt Tony as a warm and welcome weight against his back. Ensconced in the swirling, grey mist that cloaked the city, Loki felt like they were flying, safe in Tony’s tower at the top of the world.

No thunder, Loki noted with a wry smile, only sheets of cleansing downpour. 

Tony stirred and tightened his grip on Loki's hip, murmuring something unintelligible. He seemed to do that a lot. Sometimes Loki could make out the words; sometimes it was nothing more than sounds or grunts. But Loki understood each noise was the echo of the nightmares that plagued him, little pieces of his most terrifying truths. Loki laid a hand over Tony's, twined their fingers together. Tony had given him so much and he wished to repay him, if only with a touch of comfort.

Broken, mismatched memories bubbled up like lava through the cracks of the crumbling wall that had been holding them back. Some moments were clear as a bell and he poked them like a sore tooth, enduring the pain just to ensure they remained. A few moments swirled in his periphery, just out of reach, while others remained behind the wall, perhaps too large yet to break through.

Asgard's sky was like steel when it rained, silver and shining with the iridescent colors of the rainbow bridge. Or at least it had - before. Loki pushed down the emotional hurricane that suddenly gathered within him as one of the grey shapes behind the wall pushed against its confines.

_The Rainbow Bridge._

He couldn't remember the night he fell or the events of Asgard's destruction; although Tony had told him the stories. Ragnarok. Loki had been there, fighting at Thor's side. His father...Odin...had said that Asgard was her people. So, in the end, they had saved Asgard while the planet burned.

_Perhaps it is best I cannot remember that._

Tony twitched and sighed, warm breath a caress against Loki's neck, turning his mind to the night before. He wondered if Tony would wish to pick up where they had left off. He closed his eyes, shivered at the memory of Tony's hand around his cock, calloused fingers stroking his heated flesh. 

Tony shifted and pulled him closer. "Cold?" he murmured.

"I'm fine, go back to sleep," Loki said.

Tony stretched and groaned before wrapping an arm around Loki's waist. He stroked Loki’s bare belly and the sensitive place where his hip dipped to meet his thigh. Loki hummed with pleasure and stretched to give Tony access to touch as he pleased.

“You’re just like a cat,” Tony murmured. Loki could feel the curve of his smile against his back.

“I’ll try and refrain from using my claws.”

Tony chuckled and smoothed his hand down Loki’s flank. “How are you feeling this morning,” he asked, too serious for Loki's taste. He had something more carnal in mind.

“I’m not sure there are words,” Loki said and pressed himself back into Tony’s lap. Tony was hard already, his cock nestled against Loki’s ass.

“Try,” Tony whispered, fingers curling around Loki’s hip. He didn’t push him away, just stilled his undulating hips, clearly intent on checking in on Loki's wellbeing.

Loki sighed. “Very well. I feel...good, safe, warm, grateful...aroused.” Loki punctuated this last word with a little growl and Tony huffed a laugh.

“Impatient?” Tony suggested.

“Supremely.”

“Far be from me than to keep a prince waiting,” Tony said and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Loki couldn't help but wonder at Tony's tenderness, knowing everything he now knew. Their previous encounters had been anything but cordial.

_I've done unforgivable things on the strings of a madman, for the sake of my own ego. But Tony Stark offers his forgiveness, trust, and asylum. He offers his body to me without reservation. Perhaps there is more to Midgardians than I have given them credit._

Loki purred as Tony sucked a trail of open-mouthed kisses up his neck. He turned over, slid one slim thigh between Tony’s, luxuriating in the warmth of his body, the heady scent of his skin.

“See, just like a cat. You purr so sweet when I touch you.” 

“Then perhaps you should continue.”

Tony’s expression was warm and amused, gaze heavy-lidded with lust. Loki reached out to touch his face, tracing the lines that deepened when he smiled. Tony kissed him, soft and slow, the sweet slide and suck of lips and tongue. Loki let him lead, buzzing with need but content to wallow in the thick haze of lust he wove with each kiss.

Loki sucked in a breath, tilted his head while Tony nibbled along his jaw.

"I've always found you attractive," Tony murmured, mouthing his way down Loki's chest. "Not sure what it says about me that even as you super-villain monologued, I was calculating my chances of ending things peacefully and getting into those leather pants...which we totally need to replace by the way. Friday, research some options and show us later."

“Will do,” she responded, and Loki huffed a laugh as he sifted long fingers through Tony's hair, now and then snagging on the ghosts of yesterday's styling potions.

"My leathers were not just sexy pants, Stark,” Loki said. “They were armor, spelled and warded for protection." Loki was pleased when the memories came to him, tattered moments of spell casting, his mother crafting the garments.

"We'll make you new ones," Tony said, pausing to look into Loki's eyes. "And before you know it, you'll have regained your powers and you can ward till your heart's content." 

Tony smiled warmly and then returned to his slow, tortuous journey downward. Loki couldn't help but return the smile and wonder again at this man's generosity. He bent an arm beneath his head and marveled at Tony, eyes open, lips curled into a little smile, clearly taking pleasure in the pleasure he bestowed.

Tony's mouth was sinful, with full, bowed lips so expressive they often gave him away before his eyes. The little twitches of amusement or distaste the perfect barometer for Tony’s mood. Now, bent to his task, kissing and sucking a meandering path south, Loki couldn’t have ton his eye away if he tried.

Loki pushed his messy hair from his forehead, caressed his cheek. “You did mention impatient,” Loki said.

“I did,” Tony said, eyes full of mischief as he met Loki’s gaze.

_A man after my own heart._

Tony tugged at the sheet covering him from the waist down. Loki sighed in pleasure as the silky sheets slid across his skin. Exposed to the air now, breathless with anticipation, he shivered and watched, transfixed as Tony moved between his thighs and shouldered them open.

“What I didn’t mention,” Tony said with an unapologetic shrug, “is that I just don’t care. I like to take my time, Lo. I want you to feel every stroke…every suck. It’s all part of the Tony Stark experience. Now, keep your limbs in the cart at all times and don’t forget to smile for the camera at the end of the ride.”

Loki’s laugh was cut short when Tony finally touched him, wrapped his hand around Loki’s cock and pressed a surprisingly sweet and almost reverent kiss to the tip. He mouthed around the head, sucking, kissing until, with a smile that was made Loki’s toes curl, Tony parted his lips to slowly swallow his length. 

“Tony,” Loki groaned, unable to keep from plunging his fingers into Tony’s hair and barely resisting the urge to buck his hips, drive deeper down Tony’s throat. Need drove Loki forward. But the utter adoration in Tony’s eyes reined him in, grounded him in the moment. Tony’s chocolate gaze never left his own as he found a rhythm, slow and grinding, wicked tongue working the head of his cock while he gripped and stroked the shaft. Following Tony’s lead, Loki slowly thrust his hips, moaning when Tony hummed in appreciation.

Loki’s gaze wandered down Tony’s back to the round swell of his ass. He found himself wanting more. Loki enjoyed pleasure in all its forms and wasn’t shy about it. But what of Tony?

_Will he allow me to fuck him? Bend his body to my will and take him just I intend to submit to him?_

Turning his attention back to the glorious show before him, Loki caressed Tony’s face. His balls tightened when Tony hollowed out his cheeks and increased his pace,

“Norns, you look lovely with your mouth around my cock,” Loki said. “Lips all shiny with spit...that’s it, swallow it, Tony.” Loki gasped as Tony moaned, sending little vibrations along his shaft. Tony did as he was told, taking him deeper, faster.

“Tony. Yes. Fuck...I,” Loki cried out his release, pumping his hips as Tony swallowed every drop, sucking him through each spasm of ecstasy. Spent and gasping, Loki watched as Tony licked and suckled his softening penis, slowly rousing him again.

Loki tugged on Tony’s hair and pulled him into his arms, one knee on either side of his hips. He gripped Tony’s ass, fingers sinking into the warm flesh, kneading, encouraging him to rut against Loki’s cock.

“Fuck, that feels amazing,” Tony whispered against his ear. “Now I understand why they call you a god, your cock is… mmmm. Fuck, Lo, I want you so many ways.”

“Tony,” Loki gasped, the silken friction of Tony’s cock stroking his was almost too much and at the same time, so very not enough. “Take me any way you wish, Tony. Just decide. Or I will decide for you.” Loki said with a chuckle and then reached between them to grasp their cocks, stroking them together. He was slightly longer than Tony. But Tony’s cock was thick, his foreskin trimmed at the tip, where Loki’s was intact. He wondered if that was a Midgardian practice and made a mental note to look that up when he had a moment to himself.

Tony rocked his hips, thrusting to Loki’s grip for a moment, moaning his pleasure, sucking kisses along Loki’s jaw and down his neck.

“I’ve never been good at making decisions,” he panted finally, and Loki chuckled.

“I don’t intend for this to be your only chance, Tony,” Loki whispered, lifting Tony’s chin to meet his gaze. Tony smiled and then took his mouth, hips speeding up, the sweet friction slicked with Tony’s pre-come bringing Loki along for the ride. They came together, the sound of their passion drowning out the rain, and the responsibilities of the day until they were the only two people in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony exited the shower to find Loki at the mirror, freshly showered himself and picking through the bottles on the counter. Tony smiled, watching as Loki opened one, sniffed it, pulled a sour face, and returned it to the counter.

“Here, try this,” Tony said, admiring Loki’s ass and giving it a little squeeze before reaching around to grab a bottle of styling gel. “This will enhance your wave and leave it looking soft and touchable.” Tony measured a little into Loki’s palm and watched as he rubbed his hands together before applying it to his long locks.

“No, don’t slick it back. You look like you’re going into battle when you slick it back. Just leave it soft.”

Loki eyed him dubiously in the mirror but did as he asked, scrunching his curls and combing through them with his fingers.

“Does this meet with your approval?” Loki asked with a sardonic raise of an eyebrow.

Tony smiled and kissed him, savoring the minty tang of his tongue. “Very much,” he said, not missing the pleased quirk of Loki’s lips as he turned back to the mirror.

Tony took the sink next to Loki’s, brushed his teeth and went to work on his own hair. He tried to recall the last time he had made any effort in his appearance. When he couldn’t remember, he decided to avoid that train of thought and just focus on the sexy, hot god beside him. He turned to Loki, who was staring at himself.

“I’ve been trying to change,” Loki said when he saw Tony looking at him.

“You’ll get there,” Tony said placing a comforting hand on the small of Loki’s back. He realized then just how much he loved to touch him, his soft skin stretched over lean, powerful muscles. Tony had always been very tactile. But now that they had opened that door, Tony found himself firmly planted on the other side. Loki had said he didn’t intend for this to be a one-time thing.

“I appreciate your confidence, Tony. But please understand that my powers are a part of me. Even now, I can feel it, the energy or - “, Loki paused, frowning with the expression Tony was beginning to recognize as his, reaching for a memory look. “Seidir!” he recalled the word and grinned in triumph. “I can feel it. So why can I not access the power?”

“Look, I’m the last person who should be lecturing on pushing yourself too hard. But you’re pushing yourself too hard. Loki, if what we believe is true, that you came back from the dead, you’re making amazing progress. Yesterday you couldn’t remember a single thing. But now you’ve broken through that wall. You’re getting pieces – like Seeder!”

“Seidir,” Loki said, expression shifting back to that look again as he searched the rubble of his memories.

“That’s what I said,” Tony mumbled and then after a moment of silence, “What cha lookin’ for, Lo?”

“What you said. That I came back from the dead, it stirred something,” he said. After a few more moments, he shook his head and sighed. “I am going to get dressed,” he said and turned to walk away.

Tony grabbed Loki’s hand and pulled him back into his arms, pressing his body close.

“You could just not,” Tony said, palming’s Loki’s ass. “We could forget the world and stay in bed all day.”

Loki relaxed into his touch; the corners of his mouth curled into a little smile.

“I would like nothing more. But we promised to see Roxanne today. I would not abandon her.”

“You just want to tell her about The Tony Stark Experience,” Tony said with a wink. Loki grinned but didn’t deny it.

“Fine. But be careful of the glass. They haven’t been in to clean it up yet.”

“How are your feet?” Loki asked.

“They’re fine. A little tender. I’ll put some antibiotic ointment on the cuts before I put my socks on.”

“Boss, Dr. Banner is at the door,” Friday interrupted and for a moment Tony blanked. But then he remembered that Bruce had driven in at his request.

“Shit. Okay. The world awaits. Will you join us in the living room when you’re dressed?” Tony asked and sighed dramatically.

“Of course.”

“Friday, when Loki is in his room you may let Bruce in,” Tony said, watching him stride from the room. “Let him know I’ll be out when I’m dressed.”

“Sure, Boss,” she answered.

Tony turned to the mirror and smiled at his reflection. He had managed to tease a grin from the god of mischief. The day was already won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudosing and commenting. I love each and every drop of love you give me and appreciate you taking your time to read. Let me know if there's anything you're interested in seeing with these two and depending on whether it fits, I'll try and work it in.


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